K, I officially suck at updating. SOOO sorry. Not that I'm uber popular, but I know that whenever I come on, even to kill time, and I go through all of the usual journals I get super mad when people do like me and only update on a monthly basis. So, I'm going to try to be more accommodating. Amusement is imminent.
I got a new job! Hooray me! As of Jan 30th Im going to be gainfully employed as a bank teller. Which means salary, and paid vacation, and set hours so I can plan my days and actually accomplish things. Ive started really hating the job Im doing right now, waitressing is SO not for me, especially when I have to serve old men all day starting at 8 or 9am who are drunk and surly by 11, you know, the ones that dont tip and ask me questions about my bra size. Fucking sleazes. Go home to your toothless wives you bastards.
In a related my-job-is-gross story, a couple days ago I was cleaning the washrooms after lunch (which is the normal routine) and some really scrawny, REALLY drunk old man stumbled into the bathroom while I was just finishing the garbages. I tried to tell him that it would be less than 2 minutes before I was done, but he just cut me off and said Well, I hope you dont mind, but I really gots to go. At this point he turn into the urinal, whipped it out and started with his business. Now, I live with a boy, so I witness this kind of thing all the time, and granted its creepy when its a stranger instead of the boyfriend, but the REALLY terrible, soul-crushing part of it is that during this whole incident he kept talking to me! Here is my interpretation of the scene, enjoy:
*door opens, DRUNK GUY ENTERS, BECOMINGX recoils in horror but continues to work*
ME: Ill be just a second, you can have full run of the place in less than two minutes.
DRUNK GUY: Ima sorry honey, but if you dont mind I really gots to go. Youre not peeking right?
ME: On no, thats one thing you wont have to be worrying about.
*sounds of urination ring off of the porcelain of the urinal*
DRUNK GUY: Wow, honey, you need to get a better job.
ME: (pause) Oh really?
*Im trying to work quickly at changing the garbage bag, but my dual discomfort and mounting rage is making it hard to separate the new bag at the opening, you know that part? I hate that part*
DRUNK GUY: Well, you know what I mean *both his speech and urination pauses how GROSS IS THAT??* Youre a pretty girl, Im sure you could find something better than cleaning up after old guys like me
*resume urination*
*I finally get the bag to open and in 2 swift motions manage to change the bag and head for the door, DRUNK GUY is still rambling. As I grab the door handle DRUNK GUY stops talking again, perhaps surprised that Im not going to stick around and listen to his career advice, perhaps startled by the fact that Im now standing beside him and hes still holding his gross old-man penis. As Im leaving I look him straight in the eye.*
Yall have a good day now.
*DRUNK GUY looks as if he is infused with a new sense of self loathing, and I am glad. Gross gross man.*
END SCENE
Ta da! So needless to say the thought of being able to count other peoples huge wads of money all day is super duper appealing.
On a lighter note, I've totally gotten back into wearing Lip Smackers. I was out of lip balm again and decided to buy a 3pac: Kiwi, Tropical Punch (which smells like Hawaiian punch, so WICKED) and Mango. The last time I used a lip smackers was in the 6th grade when everyone used to collect and trade them. Except for me, cuz my mom thought they were too expensive of a thing to just trade. Plus she was afraid of me getting sick. So I only had one, and it was Orange Crush, and I wasn't allowed to share it. Then a whole bunch of the girls in our class got cold sores.
And now, to go make dinner.
LOVES
I got a new job! Hooray me! As of Jan 30th Im going to be gainfully employed as a bank teller. Which means salary, and paid vacation, and set hours so I can plan my days and actually accomplish things. Ive started really hating the job Im doing right now, waitressing is SO not for me, especially when I have to serve old men all day starting at 8 or 9am who are drunk and surly by 11, you know, the ones that dont tip and ask me questions about my bra size. Fucking sleazes. Go home to your toothless wives you bastards.
In a related my-job-is-gross story, a couple days ago I was cleaning the washrooms after lunch (which is the normal routine) and some really scrawny, REALLY drunk old man stumbled into the bathroom while I was just finishing the garbages. I tried to tell him that it would be less than 2 minutes before I was done, but he just cut me off and said Well, I hope you dont mind, but I really gots to go. At this point he turn into the urinal, whipped it out and started with his business. Now, I live with a boy, so I witness this kind of thing all the time, and granted its creepy when its a stranger instead of the boyfriend, but the REALLY terrible, soul-crushing part of it is that during this whole incident he kept talking to me! Here is my interpretation of the scene, enjoy:
*door opens, DRUNK GUY ENTERS, BECOMINGX recoils in horror but continues to work*
ME: Ill be just a second, you can have full run of the place in less than two minutes.
DRUNK GUY: Ima sorry honey, but if you dont mind I really gots to go. Youre not peeking right?
ME: On no, thats one thing you wont have to be worrying about.
*sounds of urination ring off of the porcelain of the urinal*
DRUNK GUY: Wow, honey, you need to get a better job.
ME: (pause) Oh really?
*Im trying to work quickly at changing the garbage bag, but my dual discomfort and mounting rage is making it hard to separate the new bag at the opening, you know that part? I hate that part*
DRUNK GUY: Well, you know what I mean *both his speech and urination pauses how GROSS IS THAT??* Youre a pretty girl, Im sure you could find something better than cleaning up after old guys like me
*resume urination*
*I finally get the bag to open and in 2 swift motions manage to change the bag and head for the door, DRUNK GUY is still rambling. As I grab the door handle DRUNK GUY stops talking again, perhaps surprised that Im not going to stick around and listen to his career advice, perhaps startled by the fact that Im now standing beside him and hes still holding his gross old-man penis. As Im leaving I look him straight in the eye.*
Yall have a good day now.
*DRUNK GUY looks as if he is infused with a new sense of self loathing, and I am glad. Gross gross man.*
END SCENE
Ta da! So needless to say the thought of being able to count other peoples huge wads of money all day is super duper appealing.
On a lighter note, I've totally gotten back into wearing Lip Smackers. I was out of lip balm again and decided to buy a 3pac: Kiwi, Tropical Punch (which smells like Hawaiian punch, so WICKED) and Mango. The last time I used a lip smackers was in the 6th grade when everyone used to collect and trade them. Except for me, cuz my mom thought they were too expensive of a thing to just trade. Plus she was afraid of me getting sick. So I only had one, and it was Orange Crush, and I wasn't allowed to share it. Then a whole bunch of the girls in our class got cold sores.
And now, to go make dinner.
LOVES
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
when you come and visit in summer, you better get ready for round __ of eat club. there is no escape.