beautifulxalone

I'm trying.
Really... I am.



I just always seem to end up with my foot in my mouth.




This is the only thing I have right now.







Don't believe that it's better when you leave everything behind...

shhhh.


I'm just going through the motions now.
I want my family to be back here. A6 is incomplete, for now.

These past few weeks have been so hard on me especially without my girls here.
I just have these blank walls staring back at me.
You're worried about me -- well I'm worried about me too.
I hate feeling this way, and sometimes it's...
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uhm...last night was good until i fucking puked my face off.
haven't been that drunk since new years. i swear it was the car ride home that did me in.

brownies was fun.

i walked into the bar, and saw my friend pat, and ran up to him and gave him a hug. he goes to me "Hey! I didn't even recognize you, you look...
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I just wrote the longest entry, and then deleted it.
I don't really want to spill my heart out here.
I'm miserable, and I don't really need to explain why.


The drive to Williamsport was good, but long and exhausting. Gave me alot of time to think...not like I really needed that though.

I haven't slept more than a few hours since Friday...I'm going to...
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You know when you're looking for something so hard, that you lose sight of the fact that it's right in front of your face, and probably has been for awhile now...

That's how I feel right now.
Amongst other things.

I wanted the answers...

and well,
I got them.





Off to work I go...Hi Ho.

I dunno. For some reason I'm in a way better mood than I was last night...I was a goddamn fucking mess last night. I don't even know why...I just lost it. And in the middle of losing it, I got a long distance phone call from an unexpected person, that made me smile for a half hour. As soon as we hung up, I started...
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Leave just as you came (without a sound)....


Another day, another pointless update with pictures. yay.

I woke up way too early for my own good this morning (6:30? 7? 4:45? I dont know....I remember seeing all of those times on the clock at some point this morning) I don't think my body likes sleeping at night anymore. I had to drive home to...
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Laziest day ever...Kind of. I woke up and had a mini panic attack, and decided to not get out of bed until 2 PM. Still sitting in my underwear, like I was last night. Nothing wrong with that though. I did laundry...including my sheets. AND I cleaned out the refridge. fucking DISGUSTING. there was like this gross red liquid that had coagulated at the very...
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I just spent 10 minutes trying to get a steaming hot lightbulb unscrewed so I could take the lampshade off the lamp, because it's just too damn dark in my room sometimes. the new red curtains give it an ominous darkness even when it's the middle of a sunny afternoon. heh. Heh!*#$
Now it's well lit in here, and the light is shining off of...
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