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beautifulxalone

dirty jerz for life.

Member Since 2004

Followers 116 Following 79

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Wednesday Sep 14, 2005

Sep 14, 2005
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Kristen and her boyfriend broke up.
I'm not the only single and lonely bitch in the house anymore. surreal
We didn't come home til 5:30 this morning, and I finally went to sleep around 6:45.
I woke up this morning to a voicemail from one of the guys that we were hanging out with saying that they just booked a room in AC, and to wake up. haha. Random.

I must have been way passed out if I didn't hear the phone ring. My phone ringing is like a train-wreck happening.


I am dreading work right now, and procrastinating horribly.
I'm glad it stopped pouring.
Even though I loved running thru the rain (with my sunglasses on still might I add). Warm rain showers are the best.

I really really really need to quit smoking.
V. important.

Missing people who are very far away from me sucks the worst. It's worse than just missing someone, but when you miss someone, and have no idea if/when you'll ever see them again -- it makes the missing 100x worse.

Ugh. Headache.
This was longer than I expected.
I'm hoping the nice hot shower that I'm about to take will help me feel better. Or at least human.



Why do I always feel the need to provoke people to get the reaction that I want from them?
One day, the thing that I've been wanting so much for the past few months will come to me or happen when I stop looking for it...or wishing for it.
Isn't that the way it always goes?


xox.
nicolelee:
That IS the way that it goes. Isn't that a Janet Jackson song?

I realized I haven't been in touch as much as I'd like. I do a lot of skimming and lurking, if you can believe that.

I have the same needs. To feel like I need to provoke people. Take JDK for example... He came around out of the blue. Surprising me left and right with attention and nods of approval in every way. Now that I've tried to keep that coming, I find myself wondering "Where is he NOW?"-- and he's not really around much. I go to those shows because its the only time that I CAN see him, I don't get those random texts anymore, or calls or IMs. So... I'm just dropping it.

And there goes another song in relation to the situation... "I Miss You" by Bjork.
Sep 14, 2005

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