I'm tired of being told that he doesn't think I care about him.
What do I have to do to prove it to him?
Another conversation that went in circles for hours last night. He was shooting out ultimatums. He was whining like a child. He was telling me that I had to choose between him and my friends. What the fuck? Choose between him and my friends? No way. Why would you ever even SAY something like that to me. He kept asking me who meant more to me, him or my friends. What kind of question is that? He wouldn't accept my explanations. He just kept screaming at me to answer the question. I don't know what got into him...but he obviously is still got so much anger pent up inside for what I did. How are we supposed to be together if you can't move on? Why wait until you're piss-drunk 300 miles away from home to call me and unleash all of this on me? I didn't want to fight. I wasn't trying to fight.. I'm TIRED of fighting.
I KNOW what I want, and I was TRYING to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. I want us to be the way we used to be. He said all he's ever wanted was me. But thinking back to a month ago, when I told him to drop everything to be with me again, that I had made a mistake, that I was owning up to my mistake, he said no. And the only reason he said no, was because he was tired of me always making the decisions. So you didn't get back with the person that you supposedly love more than anything, because she always has the upper hand? What the fuck is that?
I'm so baffled, and so exhausted, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I wish he would say these things to me when he's sober, instead of it turning into a huge screaming match when he's drunk, and miles upon miles away.
I usually don't write about stuff like this in here, but my written journal is done, and I haven't gotten a new one yet. And maybe he needs to see this, because I have a very good feeling that he's not going to remember much of what happened or was said last nite.
I'm sorry that you think that I don't love you. I'm sorry that you think that my friends mean more to me than you do. No one means more to me, you're all important facets of my life. I don't know what else to do, and I'm tired of trying to prove myself to you.
So because of all this drama that I can't seem to get away from, I slept until 1, and got nothing done. And now I'm sitting here in my underwear, have to get ready for work in an hour, and it looks hot as shit outside. *sigh*
later.
What do I have to do to prove it to him?
Another conversation that went in circles for hours last night. He was shooting out ultimatums. He was whining like a child. He was telling me that I had to choose between him and my friends. What the fuck? Choose between him and my friends? No way. Why would you ever even SAY something like that to me. He kept asking me who meant more to me, him or my friends. What kind of question is that? He wouldn't accept my explanations. He just kept screaming at me to answer the question. I don't know what got into him...but he obviously is still got so much anger pent up inside for what I did. How are we supposed to be together if you can't move on? Why wait until you're piss-drunk 300 miles away from home to call me and unleash all of this on me? I didn't want to fight. I wasn't trying to fight.. I'm TIRED of fighting.
I KNOW what I want, and I was TRYING to tell you, but you wouldn't listen. I want us to be the way we used to be. He said all he's ever wanted was me. But thinking back to a month ago, when I told him to drop everything to be with me again, that I had made a mistake, that I was owning up to my mistake, he said no. And the only reason he said no, was because he was tired of me always making the decisions. So you didn't get back with the person that you supposedly love more than anything, because she always has the upper hand? What the fuck is that?
I'm so baffled, and so exhausted, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I wish he would say these things to me when he's sober, instead of it turning into a huge screaming match when he's drunk, and miles upon miles away.
I usually don't write about stuff like this in here, but my written journal is done, and I haven't gotten a new one yet. And maybe he needs to see this, because I have a very good feeling that he's not going to remember much of what happened or was said last nite.
I'm sorry that you think that I don't love you. I'm sorry that you think that my friends mean more to me than you do. No one means more to me, you're all important facets of my life. I don't know what else to do, and I'm tired of trying to prove myself to you.
So because of all this drama that I can't seem to get away from, I slept until 1, and got nothing done. And now I'm sitting here in my underwear, have to get ready for work in an hour, and it looks hot as shit outside. *sigh*
later.
twotoner:
Been there, done that, darling.
