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beautifulxalone

dirty jerz for life.

Member Since 2004

Followers 116 Following 79

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Tuesday Aug 02, 2005

Aug 2, 2005
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Hmm. Hi.
The past few days have been kind of a blur.

I've been doing anything in my power to stay busy. It's been another lonely week here at A6, but I've been getting by.

Did anyone see the Real World tonight? I'm sorry, but I'm in love with that show and alot of other reality shows for no reason...but damn, tonight's episode made me cry for the entire half hour...tears were just streaming out of my eyes. One of the cast members gets a call from his dad on valentine's day telling him that his mother died of a heart attack that morning. That hit close to home, because my own mother came very close to dying from a heart attack, and had she been alone in the house when it happened, probably would have. Seeing things like that really makes you realize how life is not infinite, and that in any point in time, it could be taken from you. Very morbid, but eye-opening.


On a totally unrelated topic, work hasn't been that bothersome to me lately. I had a co-worker the other day ask me if everything was okay because I seemed different. I was more quiet and reserved than I have been in the past. Hmm. I think I've just learned to come there and do my job, and listen to all of the drama bullshit going on around me, but to keep my mouth shut, and just make my money. I have my own problems to worry about, I don't need to worry about the drama about who's a manager, and who's in charge, and who should be fired. Who the fuck cares? This is a little hole in the wall pizza shop we're talking about here, not a five star restaurant. This is not life and death people. It's so funny to watch everyone get so wrapped up in each other and each other's lives. Those people are on top of each other. I admit, I was like that for a little while there, but I got my taste of the drama and I hated it. I don't need every single person there knowing every detail about my private life, and then have them spend hours talking about it when I'm not there. I just keep my fucking mouth shut.

So anyway. I'm working every single day this week. I picked up as many shifts as I could to make up for all the time that's going to be lost next week when I'm out of commission from my wisdom teeth extraction. I'm really nervous about this. I haven't had surgery in almost 10 years, and I remember that last one sucked too. I felt like shit, was in so much pain, and I'm just not looking forward to that. I have a feeling I'll be very very bored shacking up at my parents' house for a few days, so expect frequent updates. tongue There's this book that I'm dying to get, and I'm going to see if my parents will buy it for me as a get well present. It's called "First Love" and it's a fictional story written by an ex professional dancer, about two dancers who met in Balanchine's company, set in the 60's or 70's I think? They fall in love, and it's all about their history together, and dance, and Balanchine, and love triangles. It looks so good.

My roommate Kristen txted me earlier and said that we really need to take a dance class next year. I want to so bad...I think I'll actually look some up when I'm done blabbering away on here.

I feel like there is so much I want to say, but I don't know how that could be because nothing really has been going on lately. At least nothing physical, but there's been plenty going on in my mind. It never fucking stops in there sometimes. I am very confused about alot of things right now. Feeling a mixture of feelings that change by the hour. This upcoming year will have a lot of turning points for me. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I kind of want summer to be over, so school can start again. I'm just anxious to see how the summer plays out. There are so many unanswered questions, and I need those answers.

My mom has really been bugging me to clean out my room at home and get rid of some shit. I'ma pack-rat just like my father. And his father. Hah. I told her I would, but I'm afraid of what I'll find in there. I haven't gone thru some of that shit since high school. Hm...


I trimmed the hedges today.
The trash really needs to be taken out.
I wish we could hire someone to do that for us.

The end.

kiss


you traded our ankles for anchors...........
pinkzebra:
hope your surgery goes well kiss

glad to see you're in better spirits...
Aug 3, 2005

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