i dont think i've ever been this miserable in my life as i have been this week.
but a fucking rollercoaster...really happy at some points, but the happiness was just temporary.
this time of the year is the WORST. the absolute worst, and i think this year beats all of the other years clear out of the water. i havent missed a beat. either crying myself to sleep, or waking up and sobbing. blasting the music so i can just break down by myself. i've gone thru so many unhealthy and irrational moods this week... anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness, mania, happiness, drunkenness, and just feeling out of my mind. being with the girls has helped me laugh and forget about shit...but that's only temporary too. so many deadlines and finals. so much information. too much coffee. too much caffeine. too much alcohol. not enough sleep. never eating. too much work, and stress.
i hate that i let this stupid, petty shit get to me. it's just stuff i have to do.
i just got a peep show from ashley...while she was jumping on my bed. haha. distractions are always welcome.
i got my vision quest back and i got an A on it...i'm really happy. he wrote alot of positive insight on it. i'd really love to sit down with this professor and have him pick my brain. i'd be really interested to hear what he has to say. he's so fucking smart, and cool. he's always talking about the coolest psychotherapy techniques and telling the most interesting stories about his clients. i thought the vision quest was a really cool assignment, and i would do it again just for fun. that was the one highlight of my day. the rest of it was shit.
tonite's cinco de mayo, and everyone's out....and i have to study. boooo. i have a final @ 9 tomorrow.
it's the first of my hardest ones. i hope i do well.
blah blah blah blah blah!!!
i've drank 3 cups of coffee tonite and now i'm drinking red bull. at least i'll get alot of studying done...................hah.
if my thoughts could stay on one topic for more than a second.
</3
xox.
edited to add:
this is my look of indifference. i know you guys love the shitty phone cam xtreme close-ups, but i like the way my eyemakeup looks. ho's.
PS. i've been told that i seem ambivalent about love.
PPS. just tell me to shut up. please.
but a fucking rollercoaster...really happy at some points, but the happiness was just temporary.
this time of the year is the WORST. the absolute worst, and i think this year beats all of the other years clear out of the water. i havent missed a beat. either crying myself to sleep, or waking up and sobbing. blasting the music so i can just break down by myself. i've gone thru so many unhealthy and irrational moods this week... anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness, mania, happiness, drunkenness, and just feeling out of my mind. being with the girls has helped me laugh and forget about shit...but that's only temporary too. so many deadlines and finals. so much information. too much coffee. too much caffeine. too much alcohol. not enough sleep. never eating. too much work, and stress.
i hate that i let this stupid, petty shit get to me. it's just stuff i have to do.
i just got a peep show from ashley...while she was jumping on my bed. haha. distractions are always welcome.
i got my vision quest back and i got an A on it...i'm really happy. he wrote alot of positive insight on it. i'd really love to sit down with this professor and have him pick my brain. i'd be really interested to hear what he has to say. he's so fucking smart, and cool. he's always talking about the coolest psychotherapy techniques and telling the most interesting stories about his clients. i thought the vision quest was a really cool assignment, and i would do it again just for fun. that was the one highlight of my day. the rest of it was shit.
tonite's cinco de mayo, and everyone's out....and i have to study. boooo. i have a final @ 9 tomorrow.
it's the first of my hardest ones. i hope i do well.
blah blah blah blah blah!!!
i've drank 3 cups of coffee tonite and now i'm drinking red bull. at least i'll get alot of studying done...................hah.
if my thoughts could stay on one topic for more than a second.
</3
xox.
edited to add:
this is my look of indifference. i know you guys love the shitty phone cam xtreme close-ups, but i like the way my eyemakeup looks. ho's.
PS. i've been told that i seem ambivalent about love.
PPS. just tell me to shut up. please.