beautifulxalone

so ironically, this is the first time in months that i've been 100% alone, and i hate it.
all semester, all i wanted was to have some me time...and now i have it, and i dont even know what to do with myself. i mean, sure there are probably a million things i could do right now - like clean the bathroom, but none of them really appeal to me much.
new years was not that great, but then again -- it never is. i had a few people here, and i spent most of the nite hugging the toilet violently throwing up bkz i was stupid enough to drink without eating anything in over 10 hours. DUH. that taught me. oh well. it was fun to see everyone i hadnt seen in awhile, but it pissed me off that people kind of disrespected me, and my house. but OH WELL.

an old old friend of mine, she used to be my best friend, contacted me last week out of the blue. it has been probably 6 months since i had even talked to her, and probably a year since i've seen her. and she makes no effort to keep in touch, so neither do i. i just find it funny that people like her try to only keep in touch with me because she knows that i'm in the same zip code as her, and she's probably bored. it pissed me off that when i told her that kerry's dad had had a heart attack, she acted all concerned and said she would call ker that nite. never called, no IM's, nothing. dont fucking pretend to be concerned or interested when we ALL know that your'e NOT.

bah fakeness.

got bills in the mail today. not happy. apparently comcast cable is now 79.95$ a month. FUCK THAT. so i'm going to have to make some changes to our cable. i'm not paying 80$ a month for fucking cable. and the electric bill was $300. this is insane.

thank god that i have the whole month to work as much as i can and save up some money. i put a few hundred in the bank today, and i plan on just keep shipping it in there as fast as i make it. luckily i made out very well last week, and on NYE, so that made me happy. the restaurant is all cleaned up and it looks fantastic. hopefully that'll bring in some more business.

justin stayed up here with me all week, and left yesterday. at first i didnt think that i would be fine with him being here for a week straight, but it was really nice. we got to spend alot of time together, and he was really good with helping out around the house, and just being the best. things have been really good between us, and i hope that lasts.

so i have two days alone in the house until ashley comes back. i miss my roomies. but it's nice to have some peace and quiet. just me and my limping kitty. it makes me sad to see her limping, i hope she's okay, and i hope it doesnt cost too much to get her some medical care. fucking bills.

i dont really have much else to write in here. i dont make new years resolutions bkz i think they're a bunch of crap, but i have made plans for myself for this year. things i want to accomplish, and want to work harder on. like saving money, quitting smoking, etc. i also need to get better grades bkz mine are not turning out to be as good as i thought they would be.

anyway.
happy 2005.

xox.