so my world is spinning just a little bit, not sure which way is up. so many questions, fears, just not sure how to absorb it all. i know it's bad, but it just doesn't feel real. perhaps i'm a bit numb, perhaps i feel relieved i finally know everything, perhaps i saw it coming and knew it all along. i'll be ok, the future...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
oa55:
life has a way of shooting your plans in the butt sometimes, you just have to bounce back however hard it may be
twilight1:
Thats good stuff...I ran for about 30 second a few weeks ago and thought I was going to die...
things have gotten a little crappier since my last entry, though nothing i want to go into too much detail about. it's boy trouble of course, specifically switters trouble. i think it will pass though. i hope at least.
i was only able to run 4 of the 6 attemptedmiles yesterday. the banana i had for breakfast was bouncing around in my stomach making me...
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i was only able to run 4 of the 6 attemptedmiles yesterday. the banana i had for breakfast was bouncing around in my stomach making me...
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ok, it's about time i updated, especially since i'm in such a fantastic mood. switters came out to visit me for my birthday and we had a fantastic time. we went to the coast for a hike where i proved i'm in as good shape as he is (or he's as bad as me). we went out to dinner, went to seattlem he stayed with...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
catdad:
You do sound like a different person right now. Glad things are looking good. 
onemanmoshpit:
i used to sea kayak all the time in when I lived in charleston. I miss it. hope you had fun.
updating is such a chore.
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bridgetwnpeddler:
damn.. missed bday, I even saw the reminder and then did not get on and say happy bday.
Hope it has been good!
Hope it has been good!
niobe:
Well that's one less for me to choose! 
He is an amazing man. You are lucky to have him. 
He is an amazing man. You are lucky to have him. aahhh..i just consumed the best croissant ever. delish.
i think this weekend will be filled with the responsibilities of being a good friend: helping h paint this afternoon, helping t move tomorrow. that's ok, i'm sure i'll need them both for some sort of maual labor in the future. though i had planned on going snowboarding tomorrow--it's good to have an excuse not to as...
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i think this weekend will be filled with the responsibilities of being a good friend: helping h paint this afternoon, helping t move tomorrow. that's ok, i'm sure i'll need them both for some sort of maual labor in the future. though i had planned on going snowboarding tomorrow--it's good to have an excuse not to as...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
nouveaucoucou:
My ex is in love with those Nikes with the spring looking heel. That and you can custom order the color and trim online. Not sure if they're for running though. She certainly gets a lot of use out of them at the gym though...
fatdavid8:
When my knee got bad, I wore ASICS to train (the gel insert in the heel was better than the air pocket in Nikes), but when I was racing, I usually raced in Nikes. They look like sportscars. ASICS look like mid-sized sedans.
pizza night was a lot of fun. though i think i'm the only one who actually enjoyed the pizza.
i bought a bunch of groceries today and yet have nothing to eat. the pesto crusted cod from tj's was
. i usually like their fish too.
should have gone for a bike ride today. the weather was fantastic.
i bought a bunch of groceries today and yet have nothing to eat. the pesto crusted cod from tj's was
. i usually like their fish too.
should have gone for a bike ride today. the weather was fantastic.
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armadillofuzz:
mmmm
pesto crusted cod.
pesto crusted cod.
pekopoko:
I seem to have had an amazing effect on Portland weather from what I'm told...but the grey skies may disprove that theory...
I'm also glad to see I'm not the only person who can spend a small fortune at the grocery store and still not have anything they want to eat. It's a skill really.
I'm also glad to see I'm not the only person who can spend a small fortune at the grocery store and still not have anything they want to eat. It's a skill really.
i get to go home in a couple of weeks for my mom's 60th birthday. my sister is putting on a big surprise dinner with all my relatives and my mom has no idea we're coming.
hopefully the boy will let me come visit him in amsterdam. i wish i understood his motives for cutting me out of his life. sure there's been some pain...
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hopefully the boy will let me come visit him in amsterdam. i wish i understood his motives for cutting me out of his life. sure there's been some pain...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
icantplayguitar:
thank you
catdad:
I guess the way you call him "the boy" makes it sound like there is still something going on between you. I thought that term was usually reserved for refering to a boyfriend, not a boy friend. Maybe I haven't been keeping up with the lingo these days. In any case, if you aren't happy by yourself, you may be exuding "neediness" to others that makes them uncomfortable. That's just an idea. Sorry if it sounds harsh.
i hate my life so much.
last night i really just wanted my mom, but she's so far away. i seriously considered driving the 4 days it would take to get home.
i'm so sad.
last night i really just wanted my mom, but she's so far away. i seriously considered driving the 4 days it would take to get home.
i'm so sad.
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catdad:
Sorry to hear that. You've been in a funk for a while now. If you aren't seeing a therapist, you should consider it. If there's anything I can do, let me know.
obd:
I'm sorry to hear that you're sad. I agree with shaverart. One of you should get on a plane. Someimes you just need to see the family.
does that fact that i lied to my physician about my alcohol consumption imply that i have a problem?
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armadillofuzz:
no. it's when you lie that you do have a problem. damn poser alchoholics piss me off.
fatdavid8:
Hahahaha. If you lie to my doctor about your alcohol consumption, then I'd say that you definitely do. 
some days i want to be cute/skinny girls, some days buff/athletic girl, some days i want to be what i am which is small/curvy girl. how do i reconcile these 3 things? really i only ever want to be the first one when i see those dumb girls switters has been hanging out with. but jeebus, they're all like 20 years old and wear way...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
onemanmoshpit:
small curvy girl is the way to go.
loslope:
I think that (at the risk of alienating you or being to forward) you should turn on all the bright lights that you have, get a glass of wine, and look (REALLY look) at yourself nude, in a full lenght mirror for about 30 minutes. If you're being a fair judge, then you will probably see that there isn't a thing wrong with you.
The twenty somethings may offer a taste of youth gone/going by to your man Switters, and maybe he just isn't with the Beatrice program; for now, or maybe forever. But don't put the heat on yourself.
Anyway...Hope that helps. Hope everything works out for you. Ciao.
The twenty somethings may offer a taste of youth gone/going by to your man Switters, and maybe he just isn't with the Beatrice program; for now, or maybe forever. But don't put the heat on yourself.
Anyway...Hope that helps. Hope everything works out for you. Ciao.