I need to atone.
A friend and I were exiting a Target the other day. The fourth season of Seinfeld was still on sale. Making their way in was a group of mentally retarded teenagers and adults on a field trip, I guess. Their caretakers were doing a decent job teaching them to step to one side and make room for other bargain shoppers. One fellow, a good deal taller than myself (which is impressive for a retarded adult; Im not that short) was wearing an Oakland As hat and jacket. All bedecked in satiny green and yellow, he was, smiling like a kid with two hands in the cookie jar.
As we walked by, I commented snidely to my buddy: As fans are retards.
I laughed. He laughed. Mrs. C (cant remember the full name from the nametag) was not amused.
Excuse me?!? Mrs. C marched directly in front of us. What did you call them?
Call what? Who? No, no
I actually didnt hear what he said. What did you call them? My friend is an asshole.
I heard you. You think thats funny? To use that kind of derogatory language? Does that make you feel better, hm? Mrs. C was squared off with me now, paying no mind to my smirking friend.
No, I completely Im sorry I just meant, because, um, you know the As jacket the, uh Im a Giants fan myself. I was, um I started doing this thing with my hands. Like I was telling the not-as-hot chick in the slasher film to leave the door closed.
Go As! Go Aaaaaaaaas! Satiny Green chose now to join in on the conversation.
Ill have you know Edward has more strength and more enthusiasm than you will ever have. He is happy and capable and he would never be so rude so ignorant
I know. Oh, I know. Look, it was dumb, but I was joking about
Joke!?! This is a joke to you isnt it? People like you are the ones who have problems, did you know that? Its true. You have a problem. They dont. She left me with a pronounced air-jab of her right index finger. A period. End of discussion. I have a problem.
Barry Zitos curveball. Have you seen Barry Zitos curveball? The As fan was talking to my buddy now. They became fast friends, the retarded As fan and the asshole I went to Target with.
Come on Edward. Everyone, lets go. Leave these guys alone. As she led Edward away from us, I heard her say something to the effect of no, no, they were not very nice
Not very nice at all. But I do feel bad. I feel bad that someone other than my friend, who very obviously caught the joke, heard me. You know, I could have actually had a conversation with Edward about baseball. I could have been more engaging than Mrs. C could ever be. Instead I felt like an insensitive prick.
So, to make up, and atone for my insensitivity towards both As fans and retards, I have graciously decided to post pictures of each in todays journal.
And I shake my Giant fist at anyone else who cant take a fucking joke!
A friend and I were exiting a Target the other day. The fourth season of Seinfeld was still on sale. Making their way in was a group of mentally retarded teenagers and adults on a field trip, I guess. Their caretakers were doing a decent job teaching them to step to one side and make room for other bargain shoppers. One fellow, a good deal taller than myself (which is impressive for a retarded adult; Im not that short) was wearing an Oakland As hat and jacket. All bedecked in satiny green and yellow, he was, smiling like a kid with two hands in the cookie jar.
As we walked by, I commented snidely to my buddy: As fans are retards.
I laughed. He laughed. Mrs. C (cant remember the full name from the nametag) was not amused.
Excuse me?!? Mrs. C marched directly in front of us. What did you call them?
Call what? Who? No, no
I actually didnt hear what he said. What did you call them? My friend is an asshole.
I heard you. You think thats funny? To use that kind of derogatory language? Does that make you feel better, hm? Mrs. C was squared off with me now, paying no mind to my smirking friend.
No, I completely Im sorry I just meant, because, um, you know the As jacket the, uh Im a Giants fan myself. I was, um I started doing this thing with my hands. Like I was telling the not-as-hot chick in the slasher film to leave the door closed.
Go As! Go Aaaaaaaaas! Satiny Green chose now to join in on the conversation.
Ill have you know Edward has more strength and more enthusiasm than you will ever have. He is happy and capable and he would never be so rude so ignorant
I know. Oh, I know. Look, it was dumb, but I was joking about
Joke!?! This is a joke to you isnt it? People like you are the ones who have problems, did you know that? Its true. You have a problem. They dont. She left me with a pronounced air-jab of her right index finger. A period. End of discussion. I have a problem.
Barry Zitos curveball. Have you seen Barry Zitos curveball? The As fan was talking to my buddy now. They became fast friends, the retarded As fan and the asshole I went to Target with.
Come on Edward. Everyone, lets go. Leave these guys alone. As she led Edward away from us, I heard her say something to the effect of no, no, they were not very nice
Not very nice at all. But I do feel bad. I feel bad that someone other than my friend, who very obviously caught the joke, heard me. You know, I could have actually had a conversation with Edward about baseball. I could have been more engaging than Mrs. C could ever be. Instead I felt like an insensitive prick.
So, to make up, and atone for my insensitivity towards both As fans and retards, I have graciously decided to post pictures of each in todays journal.
And I shake my Giant fist at anyone else who cant take a fucking joke!