Slaying those toxic dragons..
You know those people? The ones who are just plain cruel? The ones who are nice to you when they need you but have no time for you when you need them? Those people who say these really biting, back-handed remarks and then act surprised when you are hurt? Those people who use their undeniable charm to manipulate you and everyone around them?
Yeah, I am really drawn to those people. My pheromones attract them, I think.
I used to have this friend who was really mean to me. As much as I tried to engage him, he always kept me at arms length. He never really pushed me away, he just never actually let me in. He would argue with me just to be argumentative. He would insult me and then make me feel bad for being so sensitive to the truth.
Sometimes, I told myself that I remained friends with him because no one else around us would be. But usually, I knew that there was something in me that was drawn to him. I wanted to break through that cruel outer crust to the squishy (i.e. friendlier) inner layer. In the case of that toxic friend, three years later, we are actually quite close. Turns out, he is a lovely person, just as I thought.
In most cases, however, I keep getting burned by those toxic dragons. Why do I put up with this when 9 times out of 10, I end up broken hearted?
I recently left a theatre I had been working at for several years after months of my friends talking behind my back, undermining my authority when I was directing, belittling me and disrespecting me. People kept asking me why I put up with it so long. I kept saying, because it used to be so good.
I am a lot less of a doormat these days. I have been training myself to recognize these people before I let them get too close. But, every once and a while (like now for example) they still sneak through. Then, as much as I hate to be a bitch, I have to put on my big girl panties and kick their ass Troma-style.
You know those people? The ones who are just plain cruel? The ones who are nice to you when they need you but have no time for you when you need them? Those people who say these really biting, back-handed remarks and then act surprised when you are hurt? Those people who use their undeniable charm to manipulate you and everyone around them?
Yeah, I am really drawn to those people. My pheromones attract them, I think.
I used to have this friend who was really mean to me. As much as I tried to engage him, he always kept me at arms length. He never really pushed me away, he just never actually let me in. He would argue with me just to be argumentative. He would insult me and then make me feel bad for being so sensitive to the truth.
Sometimes, I told myself that I remained friends with him because no one else around us would be. But usually, I knew that there was something in me that was drawn to him. I wanted to break through that cruel outer crust to the squishy (i.e. friendlier) inner layer. In the case of that toxic friend, three years later, we are actually quite close. Turns out, he is a lovely person, just as I thought.
In most cases, however, I keep getting burned by those toxic dragons. Why do I put up with this when 9 times out of 10, I end up broken hearted?
I recently left a theatre I had been working at for several years after months of my friends talking behind my back, undermining my authority when I was directing, belittling me and disrespecting me. People kept asking me why I put up with it so long. I kept saying, because it used to be so good.
I am a lot less of a doormat these days. I have been training myself to recognize these people before I let them get too close. But, every once and a while (like now for example) they still sneak through. Then, as much as I hate to be a bitch, I have to put on my big girl panties and kick their ass Troma-style.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
As for the basic issue (and yeah, I only know you from your posts here and a few comments either way, so please don't tell me to fuck off, but do feel free to ignore), is that while there's no doubt that these folks are legitimately treating you like crap and are wrong to do so, some people kind of invite it by wanting a) to be right b) helpful c) magnanimous.
I definitely did this when I was younger (maybe it's part of being M.O.T.), but there's something almost satisfying about saying (or even thinking),"you treated me like crap, and I'm STILL here for you!" Of course, as we get older, we realize that a) nobody's going to give us a medal, b) the pain isn't worth the satisfaction, and there are actual friends who both need AND deserve our help.
Don't hit me.
frinky
(Ok, that sounds cheesy now that I'm reading it back. Sorry about that.)
I too like the new profile pic. It's sassy!
(Oh, God. That was even worse. I'm very sorry.)