bbellicose

It's Limerick Day!! (in my brain)

Disgusting, perverted, obscene;
Quite unsavoury, know what I mean?
These are rhymes about screwings,
Unnatural doings ...
Activities rude and unclean

There once was a pirate (the story relates)
who liked to go dancing on roller skates.
He fell on his cutlass
which rendered him nutless
and virtually useless on dates.

The once was a young girl from Norway
Who hung by her feet from the doorway;
Which worked out quite well,
'Cause when you rang her bell,
It actually turned out to be foreplay!

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
(By Ogden Nash)

Poor Gregory can't get his pole
Up his girl for a tumble and roll
For he has a square peg,
And his paramour Meg
Has a perfectly circular hole.

At college she studies biology,
French and a little psychology.
What gives her kicks
Though are gentlemen's dicks
So at night-time she studies whorology.

The incredible Wizard of Oz
Retired from his business becoz
due to up-to-date science,
To most of his clients,
He wasn't the Wizard he woz

No matter how lowly your station
you stand with the lords of your nation
you stand with your king
when you beat on your thing
In the common great male occuaption

There was a young lady... Tut, tut!
So you think you are in for some smut?
Some five-line crescendo
Of lewd innuendo?
Well, you're wrong. This is anything but!

Got any limericks or rhymes to share??