Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

baudot

Oakland, CA

Member Since 2004

Followers 451 Following 294

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Sunday Dec 16, 2012

Dec 16, 2012
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Nothing makes my life feel more like an episode of Escape From Monkey Island as locking myself out of the apartment.

OUTSIDE OF APARTMENT
The door clicks shut. You pat your pocket and realize your keys are still inside. You are now locked out. What would you like to do?

> LOOK
You're outside your own locked apartment. A bag of dirty laundry sits next to you, judging you silently.

You can go DOWNSTAIRS to do your laundry. There is also a window in the hall and the door to your apartment, which is locked.

> OPEN WINDOW

You open the hall window. Outside is beautiful friendly industrial East Oakland, and the roof of the first floor of your building. Craning your head to the right, you can see the windows of your apartment.

> EXIT WINDOW

FIRST FLOOR ROOF
You are standing on the roof of the first floor of your building. The windows of your second story apartment are in front of you.

OPEN APARTMENT WINDOW

It budges, but only barely. You can't get more than your fingertips underneath, no matter how hard you pull.

> INVENTORY

You Have:
Glasses
Cell Phone
Belt
Quarters

CALL ANEMILEE

Animilee no longer has your spare keys. She invites you to her Bad Holiday Movie and Tamale Party.

> LOOK

You are on the roof of the first floor of your apartment building. The windows to your second floor apartment are in front of you. You can go back INSIDE to the second floor hallway, or take a LADDER to the second floor roof. A pile of broken boards give the roof that Oakland je ne se quois.

> TAKE BOARD

You now have a plywood board.

> PRY WINDOW WITH BOARD

You slip the board under the loosest part of the window and wedge it in. Twisting, pushing, and grunting, you can shove it in a few inches. And that's what she said.

> LOOK WINDOW

The window is held open a few inches by a board wedged under one corner. You remember that the inside is latched, stopping it from bending further. Taking a closer look, you can see the chain hanging from the latch about a foot out of reach....


....anyone who's played a bunch of adventure games knows how it goes from here: You walk around until you find something to solve the next problem, only to have a new, more obscure problem pop up, until you have a bizarre collection of inventory items that you have to use in the right order and combination to unlock the full puzzle.

And then you fall through the window onto your couch.
And then you blog about it.

So I've broken into my own apartment.
That counts as course credit for the Not A Complete Idiot level of Basic Hacking Competency.

VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
selene:
You'd only said you pried it open a little and that the latch looked out of reach tongue Wouldn't be the first time a window was broken to get into a residence...
Dec 17, 2012
videre:
That's so funny.

When you got in you should have stolen something.
Dec 17, 2012

More Blogs

  • 12.30.11
    6

    Friday Dec 30, 2011

    There's a labyrinth on the floor. In the busiest crossing in the busi…
  • 12.16.11
    5

    Friday Dec 16, 2011

    If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell …
  • 12.09.11
    8

    Friday Dec 09, 2011

    Read More
  • 12.01.11
    8

    Thursday Dec 01, 2011

    Read More
  • 11.28.11
    11

    Monday Nov 28, 2011

    Read More
  • 11.25.11
    11

    Friday Nov 25, 2011

    Read More
  • 11.24.11
    3

    Thursday Nov 24, 2011

    When we die, our bodies return to the earth and the stuff that makes …
  • 11.23.11
    2

    Wednesday Nov 23, 2011

    Read More
  • 11.20.11
    5

    Monday Nov 21, 2011

    Read More
  • 11.17.11
    3

    Thursday Nov 17, 2011

    Next song that's stuck in my head. Yes, it's Enya. Earlier entries …

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
11
months
16
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,608 SuicideGirls
  • 1,113,421 followers
  • 14,961,915 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,496,423 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo