batteredrose

Yay! It's Thursday... I made it... The kiddos are ALL in school now!

So, I bet you are wondering... did I sleep most of the day, did my honey come home and did we have wild loud dirty sex on the living room couch? So sorry to disappoint but the answer is a big fuckin NO. I tried to sleep, but my cardiologist scheduled my echo for today so that didn't happen... My honey did come home... for just a few minutes but there was NO DAMN SEX because I broke his penis. He has what is known as a friction lesion. Apparently there IS such a thing as too much sex. I feel horrible because I am as randy as a mountain goat and he is too... At least I can masturbate... he can't even do that, poor baby!

So basically my first day home alone was a dud. No sleep, Absolutely NO fucking sex and now I am wearing this stupid ass monitor with electrodes stuck all over me... NOT comfortable at all, dammit.

One hilarious spot to my day... The nurse calls me back for my echo-cardiogram which is basically an ultrasound of your heart and I have to strip from the waist up... Now let me remind you now that I live in a little town in the bible belt of Arkansas... The nurse just happens to be a sweet southern belle type with her big diamonds, bumpit blond hair and $5k smile... She opens the gown to put the little ultrasound wand on my chest and almost swallows her tongue at the sight of my nipple rings... "oh, my... I uh.. I have never seen that before" she says in her super thick southern accent... I almost peed myself from trying not to laugh at her discomfort... I know she wanted to ask me all about them but her staunch baptist upbringing held her back. I am just lucky it was a chickie and not some middle aged man.

well damn, my child-free day has come to a sputtering end... off to pick up the kiddos...phooey.