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barny

United Kingdom

Member Since 2003

Followers 509 Following 521

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Thursday Dec 02, 2004

Dec 2, 2004
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I'm having a crap day and bad urges to cut again...

I had this kinda daydream last nite as i was trying to sleep, about being pregnant, and i slit my wrists, but the dream was about afterwards, cos i survived and a good male mate came and saw me in the hospital then walked me home. and then my bf turned up saw us saying goodbye and got really moody and then it really sucked...
i keep having these day dream kinda things with my thoughts going wild with bad thigns.... somehow i think im preparing myself for if sumthg bad does happen, like my bf ignoring me or leaving me or miscarrying.(no im not pregnant) i just have this fear of miscarrying for some reason. i just think it would be so horrible.


having a shit everning, im so skint, my family is so skint, and i have so much to do/make for xmas and school.

i miss my bf, its times like these i cud do with a shoulder to cry on, and someone to give me a big hug.,
but whenever i think he's the only one that will make me feel better i phone him, and all he says is "what can i do?!" ... i want to answer, " you can tell me you love me and send me big hugs down the phone" that would help....
but i cant answer that, cos altho the sending of love and hgus is what i need, i cant ask for it cos then its not as genuin...

*big hugs to all*
x
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
brokenhouse:
i'm sorry to hear that you are having a bad day, but please don't hurt yourself.... eeek

big love coming at ya kiss kiss

and can i just say that the next time you are feeling down cos you've seen a horrible photo of yourself..... just quickly take a peek at the pics you posted yesterday... you look fitty-lah!

i promise you someone will post those on that thread within a few days.

take care kiss kiss
Dec 2, 2004
perdy:
well part time responsible adult whatever glad you like the pic smile
Whereabouts in the UK are you??? I got an old sewing machine and really wanna make some use of it but I haven't really got further than sewing fringes on my knickers!
Sorry you're feelin blue...lemme know if there's anythin I can do to help........and you can join the skint club with me.....it sucks
Dec 2, 2004

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