i have a new boyfriend. his name is tyrone. he is eleven.
i met tyrone last night at subway, where i was buying myself a well-deserved dinner. he was sitting by himself and looking oh-so-cute.
i smiled at him and he said, "hello there pretty lady. i like your tattoos."
so i sat with him and talked about the book he was reading. (my first encyclopedia) i asked him what he was up to this summer.
"i'm looking for a girlfriend. you want to be my girlfriend?"
well, of fucking course i did. but i broke to news of my upcoming move to him slowly.
"its alright bailey, i would really just be playing you. i cant have you around when school starts back up. you'd cramp my style."
i wanted to put that boy in my pocket and take him home with me.
instead i bought him a cookie and told him to be careful, because he was breaking my heart.
"i know i know. my mom says i am going to be a real lady killer".
damn straight, tyrone. damn straight.
i met tyrone last night at subway, where i was buying myself a well-deserved dinner. he was sitting by himself and looking oh-so-cute.
i smiled at him and he said, "hello there pretty lady. i like your tattoos."
so i sat with him and talked about the book he was reading. (my first encyclopedia) i asked him what he was up to this summer.
"i'm looking for a girlfriend. you want to be my girlfriend?"
well, of fucking course i did. but i broke to news of my upcoming move to him slowly.
"its alright bailey, i would really just be playing you. i cant have you around when school starts back up. you'd cramp my style."
i wanted to put that boy in my pocket and take him home with me.
instead i bought him a cookie and told him to be careful, because he was breaking my heart.
"i know i know. my mom says i am going to be a real lady killer".
damn straight, tyrone. damn straight.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
Well, hah! I showed her! Fate my ass! Hah! Take that, ma!
Now, if I could only learn this 'smooth' things with the chicks ...
-Scotty
PS Camping Rule Numero Uno: Stop, Drop and Roll -- especially if you've had too many Jager shots.
Are you gonna dress up like the Crocodile Hunter while guiding all these souls about in the bush? Sounds like a photo shoot just waiting to happen ...
Crikey.
tyrone is soo fuckin' HOT!