bailey

well

i just got laid off from work

basically because i decided to go back to school

and instead of putting me in another room where i wasnt needed until 6 every night they just fired me

i have $37 in my bank account.

i have a bazillion bills.

i have health problems that cost over $1000 a month to maintain without insurance.

none of this really bothers me. i just didnt even get a chance to say goodbye. i left my kids...the thing that kept me alive most days...without so much as a goodbye. i miss them so much already.

images of them just keep flashing in my head. and i just keep crying.

i miss the one that called me "hot mama". i miss the one whose parents were divorced and used to come to me to talk because she knew mine were too. i miss the kid that used to slap everyone. or the one that looked like dana carvey. i miss my little boyfriend, who was so jealous when someone sent me flowers at work. i miss the baby that only i could stop crying. or the one who used to get so excited to see me he would spitup his whole bottle.

these kids got under my skin. and i abandoned them. i had no choice. i hope they forgive me. and remember me.

this is the worst part about being a teacher. and trust me, there arent many.