bad_a_dave

I start my new job tomorrow... I just hope to god my back holds up... At 20 bucks an hour it better!!!

I have been to busy to tell everyone personally thank you for your support! It's been a rough past couple weeks... Girlfriend is having surgery in a week and a half and I can't be there because I start my new job Monday... Mood has gotten a little better but not much... Feel like I've lost a huge chunk out of my life and that...
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I give of myself until I have nothing left to give and then give some more... I just pray to god that when I need someone that someone will be there for me this time! I've only had 2 people care enough to go to the ER with me... I am giving till I am either going to physically drop because of my back or...
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Can't catch a fucking break!!! Amanda's back in the er... Me being here for her causes my back to hurt more than normal but I need to be here for her... Fuck today!

With all the good going on in my life right now... I feel like I'm falling into a deep dark abyss... I feel like I'm losing every one that matters to me... If I don't reply comments I apologize... I'm getting close to shutting down completely!

Well, everything is going good i guess. Amanda is feeling better and I start my new job next monday. That being said... I am in another one of my messed up moods... I think its my medication causing me to have these days that I just want to cry... For no reason what so ever... Pisces are already such an emotional sign and these moods...
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Well all I can say is c'est la vie! Everything seems to be going great for me but my girlfriend is in the hospital ER for the second time in two days... Her pains getting worse and I can't do anything to help her... I'm so frustrated because it hurts my heart to see her in so much pain! Sitting in those damn hospital chairs...
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Well looks like the smoke has cleared and I can see my way again! I am so excited about my new job offer, it pays double what I'm making now!

Thank you everyone for your concern and comments yesterday! Today is a new day and I'm feeling a little better. I go to see the doctor today to find out about my back and why it still hurts. I sat in the park for a few hours yesterday, watched the sunset and chain smoked... Was able to get my head right for the most part....
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Not ok right now.. I have no idea why I feel the way I do right now but I just want to yell or scream or cry or throw something and for no reason... What is wrong with me?!