Yup... I really have to stop blogging drunk... Especially after hanging out with my cousin and her constantly going off about my big ex! I like my horoscope today though... Gives me hope for karma actually coming my way for everything I do for others... Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and I <3 you all!
Fuck it... I give up on love... On finding anyone... Realized no one could ever make me feel like I did with my one and only "BIG" ex! She left me over 3 years ago and why am I still hung up on it?! Fuck it... I'll be alone the rest of my life... Be easier than mediocre!
eyeswideshut:
Don't give up. Try semi-meaningful sex. How knows, something might come of it (pardon the pun).
henika:
Don't give up man! Maybe you need some time to be alone and maybe in this time you'll meet someone who will loves you! 
Well after looking at my past blogs for the past couple weeks have been extremely depressing... So here is a more positive one... I know my worth and how awesome I am... I love my boys, family and friends and would go out of my way to help them... I deserve something great! I won't look for it but if it happens sweet!
thommy853:
That's good positive thinkin bro. It'll happen for you soon and it'll be awesome. You're good people and you do deserve it.
It amazes me how as soon as I tell someone that I have 4 boys or that I had back surgery that its pretty much a turn off... People are so stupid to judge people before even getting to know them! It might just be because I'm sick but people are pissing me off today!
cinners:
You have 4 boys???!!! I think we might have to stop talking.... lol
My son and I are taking the day off because we are sick... I think I will make him some jello water like my mom use to make for me when I was sick... If I can get out of bed at some point lol
cadavre:
I always put my Emergen-C into jello, easier to take, gets the vitamin C in faster
thommy853:
sorry to hear that you guys arent feelin well. hope you get better soon.
Today... Although went home from work because I am throwing up... Is a better day! Life goes on and I know I will be better off! Looking back on our relationship it wasn't the type of relationship I need or want... That and you can't make someone love you!
Well... I'm single... It doesn't hurt much right now but I know soon it will... It's better to have loved and lost then to of never have loved at all... C'est la vie!
kelpie_:
Honestly I am glad to hear that it doesn't hurt for now. From what I've gathered you've spent a lot of time, money, and energy to maintain the love of this girl but that shouldn't be what it's about. You will find your 'yin to your yang,' a good, confident woman who has the independence to take care of herself but is ready to share that happiness with someone else. You have those boys, it isn't your job to 'fix' anyone but yourself, hon. Confident, self-efficient women are the absolute best to have relationships with--at least that's been my experience. KISS
I'm so nervous about the talk with my girlfriend I'm literally shaking... I have been blinded for years to all those that love me unconditionally though... So matter what happens I know I have people in my life that love me whole heartedly! My parents, my boys, my friends and even God... So I am trying to keep this smile on my face and figure...
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ginicolorful:
I hope everything end good, for the two of you.
Well this afternoon I will talking with Amanda... I'm pretty sure how this is going to go down... I'm beginning to think that she's not aware that love isn't just a feeling, it's devotion, it's dedication, it's willing to do anything you can for another person, not because you have to but because you want to and no matter how bad you are feeling being...
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ginicolorful:
Im glad you guys are going to talk, becaise, you cant assume anything till she tel, you whats going on! I hope everything works out.
kelpie_:
if the feeling of love lasted consistently instead of coming and going in phases, we'd all be with our first love. I hope the talk goes well, I'm rooting for you!
I am so tired of falling for someone and them pushing me away after I do so much for them... All I want is someone to love me and care about me the way I care about them!!! Fuck life! If it wasn't for my boys I wouldn't be here... I like my life better when I didn't let myself become attached to anyone! Fuck...
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hemi:
Sorry babes. 
Hope things get better for you.
Hope things get better for you. 
ravina:
i agree with you.. its awful.. happens to me every time