avalon

I got my care package in the mail today. I hope this means my set will go up soon but I dunno...

It doesn't matter because free stuff rules. I <3 SG!

i am at a gay bar right now. i have no access to the internet except the public library and i can't look at hot naked chicks there- even though i tried! oh well i will have internet soon enough...

hopefully my fucking set will go up soon

the cadence of a dull heart
grey were the days and softly spoken were the words
nothing too exuberent to rattle the world around
but marked out eyes and crusted lips told of a time
when the blood ran through the veins
fresh and attentive
yes- there once was a life inside this now tarnished body
and the criptic soul of a being who can...
Read More

Today is my Mothers birthday. She would have been 47 today- if she was still alive. That makes me sad. I miss he so much. It has been almost 14 years without her but it still hurts so bad. I find it ironic that her birthday is on this date.

But- on a lighter note:

Things aren't as bad as they appeared. I am getting...
Read More

you kissed me and i fell down
the dizziness of possiblity enveloped me
swallowed me up into something
i should have never been allowed to see
now i can't breathe without you
i can't understand the meaning of "exist"
it tantilizes my every inch
smoldering stares that sanctify
no pain is enough to rectify
this illusion will only terminate
into dissapointment
infinity
an ugly word...
Read More

just when you think things are going your way shit gets fucked up. the transmission in my car went out today. man that is 3 transmissions in 2 years. i think that is a record. i am beyond upset. i can't win. how am i going to get to work? everything is fucked.

I got promoted today at work which is awesome. I have only been there 2 months!

I also don't have to work the rest of the week... which is sweet ass. Especially since I had monday off too!

I am in the process of moving in. I should be all the way moved by this weekend. So that is exciting.

My sister graduates college tomorrow....
Read More

I'M MOVING OUT!!!!

I just got my very own apartment today so I can move out of my ex boyfriends house and be free!!!!

I'm so happy

I also had the best day at work yesterday I have ever had plus- I only have to work 2 days next week. Fuck yeah! Life is good for once!

i hate paying back my student loans when i couldn't even find a fucking job in my field. it makes me feel like i wasted my time in college. what a fucking pile of shit.

i mean- i make a lot of money now at the job i am at. but anyone can get my job. you don't have to have a college degree. it...
Read More

my life is so redundent. i feel like a machine. get up- got to work- come home- sit on the internet- go to sleep- do it again. i wish my life had more meaning but alas- i have no life.i just wish i could trust someone.

i got paid today and i should be happy but money means nothing to me. i know i have...
Read More

I went to the underground extacy ball in louisville last night at Headliners and had such a fun time. I met all the Kentucky SG's: Maddy, Poison,Lucretia andInvidia. We danced on stage in between the bands sets and also took turns dancing to each one of the bands in the ghetto rigged cage (it kept falling apart!). It was a...
Read More