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there is nothing i can say about a fabricated day that already has become nothing more than a memory and the smell of smoke and sweat on my shirt.


we all live for the same amount of time you and me. nobody lives longer or less.

we are only alive for this very instant, and then poof! that instant is gone. only to be replaced by another and another. our life is comprised of a sum of heres and nows. and as each new second comes, those past brief moments get pushed into the back of our minds collecting dust and morphing with time. our past is never truely a reality and our future never comes.

so that split second is where we live life.

all i know for sure is the now. i want to make the best of that time. that is my new years resolution. to make this split second count. and only this one. if i focus like that, all those brief moments that graced my presence would have been lived to the fullest.

i do have control over things in my life and i can make it happen.

we are governed by our fears and we wade on the shores discussing how nice it would be to go swimming. when all we need to do is take that first step into the icey waters.

we are our biggest obstacle and perhaps failure is our biggest fear. but failure doesn't exist until we give up. and like sheep in a herd we are so eager to give up control of our lives and blame outside forces for our immobility, void ourselves of responsability or passively acknowledge our inability to move forward.

if we want something we have to get it. if we don't want it, then we must be honest with ourselves about that and focus on what we truely want.

no more blame game.
no more sulking or feeling sorry.
no more sadness.
i am in control of my happiness.
one split second at a time.

do you feel different today?
i do.

i had a crappy night in case you were wondering.

but to the blaring beats of deep dish i sat there, blinded by strobes squinting to watch those around me. when it all hit me...


i don't believe in fate. but i do believe every so often life throws us clues, it's up to us to listen.

take care kids.
there are some new photos
now i think i can sleep