Perched in the corner of a crowded little arabic cafe, gazing through the hovering fumes from the hookah pipes at the lads upon the impromptu stage. I glance about and look at the smiles and closed eyes as people try to see the words; I wonder why they need to sequester the mind behind the curtain to see things clearly. I can see the words...
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I looked in the mirror and watched it splinter into the million combinations of people I am and that strive within. I sat holding conversations with a hundred facets of myself in the future, past and present; none of us has a clue what we're doing but we all have a similar outlook; which I found refreshing. Have you ever asked the eldest part of...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
blixasinister:
people can try to run from their thoughts or hide them away somewhere but the mind is such a stubborn bastard: if you tell it to forget it, it's going to do just the opposite. i let that stuff hang off my lip like a thick strand of drool.
relethed:
your ability to converse with yourself (if you were being sincere rather than evocative) impresses me.
while i am aware that many voices lurch and flail within my head, the orchestration of these into a conversation has thus far been impossible. i am unaware of myself, as unaware as people are of one another. my self from five years ago perhaps has things in common with my self of tonight--but how can i know when i'm unable to introduce them to one another? they just hop madly and slap rhythms on disparate sections of the wall.
wait, i've been expressing myself all wrong. it's what i'm doing right now: flailing, tripping, jibbly-hibbing. and my hands are sore and swollen
while i am aware that many voices lurch and flail within my head, the orchestration of these into a conversation has thus far been impossible. i am unaware of myself, as unaware as people are of one another. my self from five years ago perhaps has things in common with my self of tonight--but how can i know when i'm unable to introduce them to one another? they just hop madly and slap rhythms on disparate sections of the wall.
wait, i've been expressing myself all wrong. it's what i'm doing right now: flailing, tripping, jibbly-hibbing. and my hands are sore and swollen
mmmm, just 5 more minutes; then I'll get up I swear......mmmm. 
blixasinister:
you're up now, yes?
no, don't say yes because then i'd know you were lying, unless you enjoy typing while standing up.
an honest man thinking he is telling the truth which is a lie since you can never really know the truth. or so i've heard.
[Edited on Feb 19, 2003]
no, don't say yes because then i'd know you were lying, unless you enjoy typing while standing up.
an honest man thinking he is telling the truth which is a lie since you can never really know the truth. or so i've heard.
[Edited on Feb 19, 2003]
mei:
*zzzzzzzz*
Firstly, thank you's go out for all my wellwishers; I am better but still tender. Luckily I have left over T3's which make things all tingly instead of stabby. I have the day off tomorrow and I shall spend it horizontally alone *sigh*. Probably for the best as too much activity makes the tender tummy throb. The show is at the end of march and...
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demigauge:
nice little tale....yeup you better stay in shape mister wouldn't want strain muscles anymore doing something more strainious 
Um, my day shall be summed up in three words;
"Oh shit, ouch."
I kinda over extended a bit and now my side is on fire,
( it's just a spasm; It's not a hernia, or a tear or anything bad; it's not, it's not, it's not.)
So rehearsal was good except for a little incident, I was just screwing around doing some handstands and...
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"Oh shit, ouch."
I kinda over extended a bit and now my side is on fire,
( it's just a spasm; It's not a hernia, or a tear or anything bad; it's not, it's not, it's not.)
So rehearsal was good except for a little incident, I was just screwing around doing some handstands and...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
relethed:
hi there,
hopefully by now you have a computer screen suspended from the ceiling above your bed, so you can surf sg without having to sit up.
sorry to hear about your "it" "body" "hyperextended members" the last time i did a cartwheel or handstand was about four years ago. yeah, same type of thing that happened to you, but not quite so bad
thanks for stopping by...i read some of your journal and you seem interesting. i'll be around...
hopefully by now you have a computer screen suspended from the ceiling above your bed, so you can surf sg without having to sit up.
sorry to hear about your "it" "body" "hyperextended members" the last time i did a cartwheel or handstand was about four years ago. yeah, same type of thing that happened to you, but not quite so bad
thanks for stopping by...i read some of your journal and you seem interesting. i'll be around...
rowan_would:
Don't feel too too bad...I'd likely pull something tying my shoes! There is very little flexibility in this here body. Once, I even managed to completely throw out my lower back making the bed!
Hey....any excuse for a hot bath....
Hey....any excuse for a hot bath....
I have no plans for tonight; well none that turned out anyways. I was supposed to go to a dance show tonight but they were sold out by the time I called to reserve tickets. I don't know what to do, perhaps I'll call around and see if anybody wants to veg with me; maybe a good night of conversation and imbibed libations is in...
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demigauge:
yeha i will try to have a good time..sucks that you don't live here then you could come to my party and have something to do
well i do hope to catch you sometime on msn ...but until then
well i do hope to catch you sometime on msn ...but until then
Ah sweet respite from the onslaught of idiocy and flacid commercialism in the guise of love. Thank god I'm home from work, I had the most unpleasant evening and I'm not sure why. Just a general malaise that fell upon me right as I walked into work and people started wishing me a happy valentines day. I had visions of a hail of bullets and...
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mei:
simple kisses to you too, to calm your sould and the such.
not like i'm sober enough to tell.. i've had almost half a bottle of rum. rum and caffeine free coke. because if i drink caffeine, i can't sleep. and that;s no good. anyway, you haven't transgressed on at least MY essence, my essence is perfectly fine. and i wish you bliss muchly.
off to take another shot or rum. mmmmm.. drunk for the first time in an awfull long time. and i'll probly feel like shit tomorrow. oh well. i'm fucking drunk now, so that's ok. we looked at photos of ourselves as babies and talked aboot my thesis. yaaay!
talk to you tomorrow...
by the way... i hope you are having an ok valentines day. i'd give you a smooch if i wasn't taken.
simple kisses to you too, to calm your sould and the such.
not like i'm sober enough to tell.. i've had almost half a bottle of rum. rum and caffeine free coke. because if i drink caffeine, i can't sleep. and that;s no good. anyway, you haven't transgressed on at least MY essence, my essence is perfectly fine. and i wish you bliss muchly.
off to take another shot or rum. mmmmm.. drunk for the first time in an awfull long time. and i'll probly feel like shit tomorrow. oh well. i'm fucking drunk now, so that's ok. we looked at photos of ourselves as babies and talked aboot my thesis. yaaay!
talk to you tomorrow...
by the way... i hope you are having an ok valentines day. i'd give you a smooch if i wasn't taken.
As the sun laboured clumsily to rise into the sky this morning it made the most horrific noises. I snuggled abed, wrapped gloriously in warmth and bliss, when like a drunk the sun crashed into garbage tins and fell amidst a cacophony of metallic screeching. This needless to say I found disturbing and I arose to give the morning hell for arriving in such a...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mistersatan:
Yeah, I dunno- I have a feeling they wouldn't be too keen on hiring me after I drove up there last night and aimed my ass out the car window right into the drive thru. Let's just say that "turnabout is fair play".
mei:
goodlord.. now i *really* regret that i took my tongue piercing out. i didn't even know that such a thing existed!
i'm glad you had such a great night! my nights have been thinking about how i should be studying but i'm not.. whoopee!!
anyone who wakes up to a synaesthetic experience is a-ok in my book. that's beautiful.
and cowboybebop is that shit! yaaaay!
i'm glad you had such a great night! my nights have been thinking about how i should be studying but i'm not.. whoopee!!
anyone who wakes up to a synaesthetic experience is a-ok in my book. that's beautiful.
and cowboybebop is that shit! yaaaay!
Alright new day, and drinks and dancing later tonight and no managers at work other than me for the next couple days. I wonder what the third good thing will be; mabe I'll meet a cutie tonight. That would be nice, cuddles and kissing, mmmmmmmm.
Yeah that's the stuff.
All the drama from yesterday is dealt with and I'm good, so I'm really going to...
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Yeah that's the stuff.
All the drama from yesterday is dealt with and I'm good, so I'm really going to...
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demigauge:
i'm cute...hmm...yeah...good luck with teh cute girl thing....
i'm cute...hmm...yeah...good luck with teh cute girl thing.... Well I seem to have a dilema, which is ponderous in it's simple form. My ex and I went out for lunch today as it's her birthday and I thought it might be good of me to indulge her for an afternoon. We are really good friends now and share a lot of shit thats just for us. We have been split since august and...
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mei:
hmmm. seems like you'd be in a hard place giving relationship advice to an ex whether or not her boyo was jealous.. but if you're really clear about specifics, i don't think it should be a problem. like it would be bad to say "he treats you badly all the time. and he's not even a very nice guy. why don't you leave him?" but ok to say "remember last week, when he bitched you out about spending too much money even though he spends a lot of money? and how he kind of got angry at you for hanging out with me even though he hangs out with his exs? those things lead me to believe that you guys need to do some serious work on your relationship..." anyway, if i was your friend (i mean in the non-internet realm, i know i'm your friend here...) i'd look it that way...
drama's no fun. bleh.
drama's no fun. bleh.
there is something in this type of night, a night rich with some sort of confident awareness, a sense of seeing. when i was in seattle, spending late nights in a dark, two story coffee house in a writing fever, and sleeping into mid-afternoon on a loft bed inches from the ceiling and just above a window into the cool, clapping challenge of autumn air--in those days, that was the sort of feeling i had. your journal reminds me of that feeling.