I've talked about my boyfriend and his four kids before but I keep having issues and I was kinda wondering if someone had any advice.
I want to be a good stepmom because I remember how horrible mine was and I don't feel that I'm anything like her. I do punish the kids for lying and not listening, normal stuff, but I don't degrade them, call them names or hit them like she did. I've been making the oldest write sentences, which seems to be working and I send Daniella and James to their room or ground them from tv, games and the popsicles they get after dinner. - which does not seem to be working.
During the day they're usually pretty good. When it's time for bed it is a fucking nightmare. The first night they slept here after I moved in Beth, the oldest (9) started balling and said she missed her Mom and I stayed up and talked to her for 2 hours, tried to take her mind off of it, told her she could call her mom in the morning, etc. NOTHING worked. The next night I didn't do anything. I told her, you can miss your mom but you still need to go to bed. She stopped crying in like 2 seconds and I haven't heard about it since.
NOW the biggest issue is this, I do not want to talk negatively about their mother, but... she lives with her parents in a 3 bedroom house with 10 people total. The kids and her all sleep on one air matress on the floor in the living room with the tv on. At our house the twins have a room and the older girls have a room. Every day they're fine til it's time to go to bed and then all I hear is I hate sleeping here I want to go home. Tonight I talked to Beth for a couple hours about random stuff and I asked her why she doesn't like sleeping here. She said she likes everyone sleeping together and she can't sleep without the tv on.
I'm sorry but this is not healthy. That house is way too small for the kids and they do not need the friggen tv on! It makes me sick because they're so used to it that they don't like it here because they can't all pile on one matress and pass out in front of the tv. It's ridiculous and I can't really say anything to them about it. I will not question their mother or talk bad about her ever, to the kids. My stepmom and my dad used to talk all kinds of shit about my mom. William and I don't say anything about it, except, that's what happens when you're with her. When you're with us you sleep in your own beds with no tv.
I don't get mad because I know they're little, but everytime I here about how they want to go home so they can sleep together on the floor, part of me just wants to give up.
They all like to lie a lot too about everything. Stupid shit. I think I finally broke Beth of it. Jamie lied to me once and I grounded her for the whole weekend. The older two have actually improved their behavior a lot. Honestly I don't think they've ever been disciplined, and that's William's fault too.
The four year olds lie all the time. Daniella lies all the time. My boyfriend has a tackle box with body jewelry in it and the kids got into it tonight. I asked them to pick it up and when I asked Daniella if she had any she said no and then tried to hide a lip ring, right in front of me. I was just going to tell her to put it up, but she had to lie about it. I get so sick of this shit because I don't like them being in trouble any more than they do. I like to have fun and we always go do stuff, but its like in the middle of it somebody has to tell a lie or something stupid and its exhausting.
I am fucking exhausted. My boyfriend and I work our asses off. He works full time and gets the kids from school every day. I'm taking 14 credit hours, working part-time and I'm still the one expected to keep the house clean, do the grocery shopping and everything else. We're barely making enough money to cover all our bills together because.... we pay $500 in child support every month.
For what, I'm not sure. We bought the kids school supplies, we spent $400 on school clothes last week for all four of them. We spend nearly $400 on food every month because they eat here every night and every weekend. Their Mom has a really shitty work schedule. She gets off work at midnight so by the time she wakes up the kids are in school and then we have them every night. We're supposed to alternate weekends but we've had them nearly every weekend for the last 2 months because of the hours theyre giving her.
GAHHHH... okay I feel slightly better. I don't understand why we're paying child support. I want the kids to stop lying and I want them to get on normal sleep schedules and sleep in their own beds. I guess its just going to take time.
....the kids are asleep. yay!.... Night SG.
I want to be a good stepmom because I remember how horrible mine was and I don't feel that I'm anything like her. I do punish the kids for lying and not listening, normal stuff, but I don't degrade them, call them names or hit them like she did. I've been making the oldest write sentences, which seems to be working and I send Daniella and James to their room or ground them from tv, games and the popsicles they get after dinner. - which does not seem to be working.
During the day they're usually pretty good. When it's time for bed it is a fucking nightmare. The first night they slept here after I moved in Beth, the oldest (9) started balling and said she missed her Mom and I stayed up and talked to her for 2 hours, tried to take her mind off of it, told her she could call her mom in the morning, etc. NOTHING worked. The next night I didn't do anything. I told her, you can miss your mom but you still need to go to bed. She stopped crying in like 2 seconds and I haven't heard about it since.
NOW the biggest issue is this, I do not want to talk negatively about their mother, but... she lives with her parents in a 3 bedroom house with 10 people total. The kids and her all sleep on one air matress on the floor in the living room with the tv on. At our house the twins have a room and the older girls have a room. Every day they're fine til it's time to go to bed and then all I hear is I hate sleeping here I want to go home. Tonight I talked to Beth for a couple hours about random stuff and I asked her why she doesn't like sleeping here. She said she likes everyone sleeping together and she can't sleep without the tv on.
I'm sorry but this is not healthy. That house is way too small for the kids and they do not need the friggen tv on! It makes me sick because they're so used to it that they don't like it here because they can't all pile on one matress and pass out in front of the tv. It's ridiculous and I can't really say anything to them about it. I will not question their mother or talk bad about her ever, to the kids. My stepmom and my dad used to talk all kinds of shit about my mom. William and I don't say anything about it, except, that's what happens when you're with her. When you're with us you sleep in your own beds with no tv.
I don't get mad because I know they're little, but everytime I here about how they want to go home so they can sleep together on the floor, part of me just wants to give up.
They all like to lie a lot too about everything. Stupid shit. I think I finally broke Beth of it. Jamie lied to me once and I grounded her for the whole weekend. The older two have actually improved their behavior a lot. Honestly I don't think they've ever been disciplined, and that's William's fault too.
The four year olds lie all the time. Daniella lies all the time. My boyfriend has a tackle box with body jewelry in it and the kids got into it tonight. I asked them to pick it up and when I asked Daniella if she had any she said no and then tried to hide a lip ring, right in front of me. I was just going to tell her to put it up, but she had to lie about it. I get so sick of this shit because I don't like them being in trouble any more than they do. I like to have fun and we always go do stuff, but its like in the middle of it somebody has to tell a lie or something stupid and its exhausting.
I am fucking exhausted. My boyfriend and I work our asses off. He works full time and gets the kids from school every day. I'm taking 14 credit hours, working part-time and I'm still the one expected to keep the house clean, do the grocery shopping and everything else. We're barely making enough money to cover all our bills together because.... we pay $500 in child support every month.
For what, I'm not sure. We bought the kids school supplies, we spent $400 on school clothes last week for all four of them. We spend nearly $400 on food every month because they eat here every night and every weekend. Their Mom has a really shitty work schedule. She gets off work at midnight so by the time she wakes up the kids are in school and then we have them every night. We're supposed to alternate weekends but we've had them nearly every weekend for the last 2 months because of the hours theyre giving her.
GAHHHH... okay I feel slightly better. I don't understand why we're paying child support. I want the kids to stop lying and I want them to get on normal sleep schedules and sleep in their own beds. I guess its just going to take time.
....the kids are asleep. yay!.... Night SG.