arien

My favorite animal is a cow, so I very much appreciated this and felt the need to share:


Economic Models Explained With Cows

SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATS
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
> You have two giraffes.
> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
> The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
> You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
> No balance sheet provided with the release.
> The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> You tell them that you have none.
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go to the pub for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You borrow against the cows from the Germans
> You kill the cows and make souvlaki
> You cant pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
> You cant pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
> You cant pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
> You cant pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money .....