What does Robin Cook, Ken Bigley, Will Smith, my wallet, Crimson Tide, I Robot and an ancient jumper than Mum bequeathed me yesterday that's going to be dyed very soon have in common?
Answer: I'm sure they all contributed to this nightmare I had yesterday.
This is a nightmare I'm not going into because it's now the basis of a kick-ass story I may write after the polish. I suffered through it, I get first crack of profitting from it
It really was dreadful, though. Nastiest I've had since a child - f'n Critters 2.
More 2004 knick-knacks:
The story so far:
2004 Person of the Year: JEREMY PAXMAN
2004 Villianous Sod of the Year: JONATHAN QUINN
Best Song I First Heard This Year: (tie) DOWN PAYMENT BLUES by AC/DC and COUNTING ON ME by KORN
Best Album I First Heard This Year: POWERAGE by AC/DC
Best Film I First Saw This Year: ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST
Honourable mention: WASP 2
Shite Film of the Year: AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Funniest/Happiest Moment of the Year: WASP 2
Furious/Saddest Moment of the Year: JONATHAN QUINN VS DALLAS
Best Book I've Read This Year: AMERICAN TABLOID by JAMES ELLROY
Take the Kennedys. Add J.Edgar Hoover, Howards Hughes, the Bay of Pigs then let the best storyteller going loose. I seriously need to reread this - I remember it being seriously awesome but can't remember too much about it. It's the only book that's caused everything to stop this year. Smashed through it in a weekend, great stuff.
Runners-Up: The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse by Robert Rankin (far and away the funniest book I've read - I'll never think of Mother Goose in the same way again), The Contortionist's Handbook by Craig Clevenger (about a screwed up degenerate with six fingers, lovely), Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss (the 2nd most important book I've read this year, my punctuation needed it.)
Honourable Mention: THE LAST ARGONAUTS (1st Draft) by D.S. O'SULLIVAN (ho ho, me bigging myself up, whatever next? Actually this was the most important book I've read this year. Because I'd managed to implement the skeleton of the story and hit all the major points I needed to hit it was worth pressing on with the 2nd draft. I can tell the difference between 30% of a good completed story told and literary drizzling shit, that's one of my 'gifts' in life. Had I written a book of drizzling shit... I'd be rich, kinda - it's a unique talent that... I'm going to restrain myself from doing a Jeffery Archer joke.... there.)
Best Comic or Graphic Novel I Read This Year: SIN CITY by FRANK MILLER
Tersely written, starkly drawn, utterly engrossing and goes really well to Powerage. Finally inspired The Dead Devils - a screenplay I knocked out while tearing myself up over the 2nd draft.
Runners-Up: The entire Preacher collection (Saint of Killers is the greatest comic book character EVER), Superman: Red Son (Superman as a communist, genius idea although I'd have made his costume red and yellow), New X-Men: Assault on Weapon Plus, Planet X, Here Comes Tomorrow (Grant Morrison has no peers or equals writing this stuff), Asylum 2 (published in 2000 AD, the best thing that's been produced in that comic this year, that includes the bloody awesome Caballistics Inc.) Jack Black (published sporadically in Viz. A totally twisted version of fifties boys comic detective story), Oor Wullie! (Simple genius!!!!)!
I have come to hate Quality Street. What started out as a sickly treat is now foul crap. P-tuh.
And if anyone exploits my nightmare for profit I know enough shady people to hire a specious lawyer to nail you with numerous frivolous lawsuits. You have been duly warned.
Sweet dreams.
Answer: I'm sure they all contributed to this nightmare I had yesterday.
This is a nightmare I'm not going into because it's now the basis of a kick-ass story I may write after the polish. I suffered through it, I get first crack of profitting from it
It really was dreadful, though. Nastiest I've had since a child - f'n Critters 2.
More 2004 knick-knacks:
The story so far:
2004 Person of the Year: JEREMY PAXMAN
2004 Villianous Sod of the Year: JONATHAN QUINN
Best Song I First Heard This Year: (tie) DOWN PAYMENT BLUES by AC/DC and COUNTING ON ME by KORN
Best Album I First Heard This Year: POWERAGE by AC/DC
Best Film I First Saw This Year: ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST
Honourable mention: WASP 2
Shite Film of the Year: AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
Funniest/Happiest Moment of the Year: WASP 2
Furious/Saddest Moment of the Year: JONATHAN QUINN VS DALLAS
Best Book I've Read This Year: AMERICAN TABLOID by JAMES ELLROY
Take the Kennedys. Add J.Edgar Hoover, Howards Hughes, the Bay of Pigs then let the best storyteller going loose. I seriously need to reread this - I remember it being seriously awesome but can't remember too much about it. It's the only book that's caused everything to stop this year. Smashed through it in a weekend, great stuff.
Runners-Up: The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse by Robert Rankin (far and away the funniest book I've read - I'll never think of Mother Goose in the same way again), The Contortionist's Handbook by Craig Clevenger (about a screwed up degenerate with six fingers, lovely), Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss (the 2nd most important book I've read this year, my punctuation needed it.)
Honourable Mention: THE LAST ARGONAUTS (1st Draft) by D.S. O'SULLIVAN (ho ho, me bigging myself up, whatever next? Actually this was the most important book I've read this year. Because I'd managed to implement the skeleton of the story and hit all the major points I needed to hit it was worth pressing on with the 2nd draft. I can tell the difference between 30% of a good completed story told and literary drizzling shit, that's one of my 'gifts' in life. Had I written a book of drizzling shit... I'd be rich, kinda - it's a unique talent that... I'm going to restrain myself from doing a Jeffery Archer joke.... there.)
Best Comic or Graphic Novel I Read This Year: SIN CITY by FRANK MILLER
Tersely written, starkly drawn, utterly engrossing and goes really well to Powerage. Finally inspired The Dead Devils - a screenplay I knocked out while tearing myself up over the 2nd draft.
Runners-Up: The entire Preacher collection (Saint of Killers is the greatest comic book character EVER), Superman: Red Son (Superman as a communist, genius idea although I'd have made his costume red and yellow), New X-Men: Assault on Weapon Plus, Planet X, Here Comes Tomorrow (Grant Morrison has no peers or equals writing this stuff), Asylum 2 (published in 2000 AD, the best thing that's been produced in that comic this year, that includes the bloody awesome Caballistics Inc.) Jack Black (published sporadically in Viz. A totally twisted version of fifties boys comic detective story), Oor Wullie! (Simple genius!!!!)!
I have come to hate Quality Street. What started out as a sickly treat is now foul crap. P-tuh.
And if anyone exploits my nightmare for profit I know enough shady people to hire a specious lawyer to nail you with numerous frivolous lawsuits. You have been duly warned.
Sweet dreams.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
ya limey bastard.