aproximation

I dreampt last night many things. Primarily because I have slept 16 of the last 26 hours. I am sad and alone today, and every other day (sound of violins). When in such states I fantisize about the solution lying in finding a cutie to give me the hugs and kisses, among other less apatizing things. I always know this is just another temporary solution.

I offer this warning: pointless drivel about dating and my ineptitude follow.

I am almost so socially deprived (not depraved) that I am considering actually asking a girl out on a date! I never ask out girls because of my low self image and because if i let things just happen or they persue me then I know that they are really interested in me.

I am a 6.2 on hotornot, and apparently hotter then 58% of men (The closest thing to objective appearance based rating).

I have yet another question!
Why the fuck am I so fuckin' afraid of asking some girl out!?!?
(fuck)

I have never really desired to be with anyone whom I didnt feel I shared intersts with ('cept for sex). My X, and the only real relationship I have ever had, was not a supermodel, but she was a great artist and was very intelligent. I decided to persue her after being in classes with her and talking with her for a 2 year period. We could talk about a great many things. If I just ask out some cutie that I know nothing about its a total crap-shoot. I have always hated dating.

But then again, getting drunk and high at bars proabably offer worse odds at finding someone I can mesh with. I am not asking for offers or a pitty party. I dont really know why I am writing this at all except perhaps to vent. Sorry its not the warm heating vet you (and I) used to curl up in front of as kids with a blanket and let the warm air fill the cavity under the blanket between your legs, stomach and face. Its more of a hot steam vent emerging from a manhole cover, spewing from deep below Gotham.

Dating drivel is now over.

Other isues:
I have to get in shape. I have been doing nothing but eating lately, and comfort food none the less.
I am taking photos to run algorythms on.
I am trying to get togeather a solo show here in B-town (with what money I knowith not). Anyone know of a good place to get grants?
Has anyone ever pooped excessively in a dream? (no I didnt wak up to poop in my bed, you dirty people. Stop watching trainspotting!)

Last question: What is the weirdest dream or element of a dream that you have ever experenced?
For me it may have been beating a jerk from my past, then kissing him. (I know what your thinking, but I assure you I have asked myself that question many times and always come up with the same ultimate answer.)