aproximation

indeed.

thanx for the advice but I think you got a little confused with my journal. I don't have as many friends as you think and you give some of my friends multipule personality disorder. only 4 people are involved. I'm going to try to write that "drama" a little better. But thank you and don't worry about the length of your post, it felt good seeing all that, cause I know you cared and put a lot of time into it.

touching on selfdestruction. I think being selfdestructive is very easy. you feel pain inside so you cause pain on the outside to make it match. I used to be selfdestructive, but now I like to be productive, it makes me feel proud to look back at something feeling like I accomplished something. looking back on selfdestructive behavior just makes me remember the state I was in and possibly brings me back to that same state. Ya know? and drugs, i prefer to take them to see what happens, not to "self medicate/sedate" cause seriously that's just a waste of money....to me.