"I went to the bars tonight and realized that I had just burried my ultimate fear, the same fear that we all proabably have: that we wont now, not will we ever be loved. I dont mean to make assumptions as to what you all feel, but it seems to me now to be a pritty universal fear" he said in a removed and distant tone.
u-Ziq blared into his hears from his iPod. The buzz of the failing forced air heater cried out aginst the turmoil.
"Im going to watch the tube now to hide for a while. i will post tomarrow what I wrote in my journal, as tonight I am far too inebrated to type it correctly", and aproximation excused himself.
Sincerely,
thecrapmonger
Supplemental Entry: after restlessly sleeping for 7 hours.
I hurt for you and from you
the sick pull of your touch
like a drug drags me home
to the strife of my feelings for you
tell me how
The desire that crawls across me
like a thousand hooks in my mind
attached to this visage of torment
and beauty that plegues my eyes
I want you now
Feel my heat aginst your neck
these memmories of our embrace
drive me to panic and passion
sick and sweet I want you back
bring me home
Your carress is something I wil never have
Your eyes will never cut me again
Your lips burn in my mind
Where you will always live
I am home
...and I wrote this without censoring what I wrote...
I am avoiding being alone wiht my thoughts. I stay at the bar because: of hope of hanging out with people, and desire to protect myself from the you in my head.
Who is you?
Them what hurts me.
Scary picture I drew. Very highschool... 
The eels do hit home, but I think I need that at the moment, need the wake up call.
v.