I got a call from my sister who is in town for the holidays, and she told me that it is my moms birthday. I know that I must be a lame son to not know the dates of anyones birthday except my own and my ex's, but birthdays never semed that important to me.
I had already eaten, and they were going out to dinner, so i went over to their house after they got back. For some reason they looked concerned, and my mom wanted two hugs, which just made me angry.
Im not sure why. Perhaps its because she is kind of a drunk, and I really dont like to be touched unless its play or love. I suspect that the real reason is that I dont want anyone to be concerned about me, or even to love me. I wish that I couls selectively modify my parents and sisters memmory to remove myself from their past.
It would be easier to go then I guess, as I understand that people who are close to someone who _______ will be much more likely to exhibit depression themselves. i dont want to wash my shit off and slosh it on to them.
I swear that I will eventually post something positive here, and in the interum I appologize. I now have use of a digital camera so I should have pictures to show you, but in the mean time you could always check out my website for art images...
Sorry
(10pm that night)
Out comes the gin...
It was eather eat something as comfort food, or drink to forget (though I never forget unless hte painkillers come out and not even then really)
I had already eaten, and they were going out to dinner, so i went over to their house after they got back. For some reason they looked concerned, and my mom wanted two hugs, which just made me angry.
Im not sure why. Perhaps its because she is kind of a drunk, and I really dont like to be touched unless its play or love. I suspect that the real reason is that I dont want anyone to be concerned about me, or even to love me. I wish that I couls selectively modify my parents and sisters memmory to remove myself from their past.
It would be easier to go then I guess, as I understand that people who are close to someone who _______ will be much more likely to exhibit depression themselves. i dont want to wash my shit off and slosh it on to them.
I swear that I will eventually post something positive here, and in the interum I appologize. I now have use of a digital camera so I should have pictures to show you, but in the mean time you could always check out my website for art images...
Sorry
(10pm that night)
Out comes the gin...
It was eather eat something as comfort food, or drink to forget (though I never forget unless hte painkillers come out and not even then really)
Feel better hon!
this week also failed due to the amount of people i made angry, the amount of people who angered me, amount of blood shed, amount of time working, and amount of time spent creating something awesome.
because all of those amounts were way, way off from what they should have been.