I didn't think anyone read these ... then I got a comment on the one and only one I typed up, and it was wicked, so i've decided to add another story about me and what's happened in my life, and if you don't care, fine.
The water was calm and clear and refreshingly cool. The boat ripped around the lake pulling screaming kids behind it. I stood on the dock laughing as one by one the kids flew head over feet into the water. I had been debating for the last 20 minutes whether or not I should throw my 6'1 250 pound ass into the tube and go for a quick twirl. My brother, also 6'1 but nowhere NEAR 250 pounds decided to join in. We hopped on either side of the massive tube, each laughing at our plans to throw the other one off at full throttle. We revved up and took off.
The sun cast a rainbow in the spraying wake ahead of us. The first 2 minutes were relaxingly bumpy. Weight shifted from side to side as the tube swept over the wake with every turn. And then, it happened. I fell, skipping across the water and slamming to a halt. The sudden loss of weight on the left side of the tube caused it to buck back at my brother knocking him out 20 feet ahead. We laughed as the boat came back around to pick us up. I hopped in first, my hand slipped out from under me and as I tried to sit up I knew immediately something wasn't right. I yelled, but they took it as a sign to take off and pick up my brother. My head bounced off the tube slowly ripping my teardrops *anti-eyebrow* from its place on my face. I saw red, I tasted blood, my face was twisted in a mess of mesh and surgical steel. The pain was unreal. It felt as if my face had been threaded with twine and on either end a football team pulled with all their might. I felt flesh tear as I rolled in agony. My brothers laughter turned into yelling as he told my family to head to shore and get a knife. It was a 10 minute round trip. I bit my lip. I was furious. The pain, losing the piercing, everything just wasn't right. I could only imagine what was waiting for me when I got back into shore. The rest of my family, aunts, uncles, cousins, my grandmother, all greeting me with, "That'll teach you never to pierce your face." or "I knew this would fucking happen, now you're scarred for the rest of your life" and so on. I took a deep breath, I sneezed. As I sneezed I heard a ripping noise, but it wasn't my skin, it sounded like velcro. I told my brother to look to see if the mesh was attached with velcro. 30 seconds later I was separated from the tube of death and mutilation. I wanted to cry. Not because of the pain, but because my piercing was gone. Ok so that sounds gay, but whatever, I fucking loved that shit. Anyways, the ride home was silent. The piercing still in my face but a bloody mess. We cruised into town looking for the hospital, and being cottage country the closest one was 40 minutes away in Newmarket.
After a shit drive, local anesthetic that went in one end of the piercing canal and out the other *into my eye* **in other words it did nothing to freeze my face** and a 2 minute session with a scalpel and unfrozen face, insert a generous amount of bleeding into the ear *I was lying down* and 5 minutes of applying pressure to a cut that wouldn't stop bleeding and you've got the worst ending to the best weekend ever. So, goodbye loyal piercing, you stuck in me from day one. We formed a bond of scabby goodness and washed it all away with warm water and sea salt. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to rub my scars with vitamin E and Cortizone to minimize the scarring. Scarring? Scaring? fuck it...
-Andrew
The water was calm and clear and refreshingly cool. The boat ripped around the lake pulling screaming kids behind it. I stood on the dock laughing as one by one the kids flew head over feet into the water. I had been debating for the last 20 minutes whether or not I should throw my 6'1 250 pound ass into the tube and go for a quick twirl. My brother, also 6'1 but nowhere NEAR 250 pounds decided to join in. We hopped on either side of the massive tube, each laughing at our plans to throw the other one off at full throttle. We revved up and took off.
The sun cast a rainbow in the spraying wake ahead of us. The first 2 minutes were relaxingly bumpy. Weight shifted from side to side as the tube swept over the wake with every turn. And then, it happened. I fell, skipping across the water and slamming to a halt. The sudden loss of weight on the left side of the tube caused it to buck back at my brother knocking him out 20 feet ahead. We laughed as the boat came back around to pick us up. I hopped in first, my hand slipped out from under me and as I tried to sit up I knew immediately something wasn't right. I yelled, but they took it as a sign to take off and pick up my brother. My head bounced off the tube slowly ripping my teardrops *anti-eyebrow* from its place on my face. I saw red, I tasted blood, my face was twisted in a mess of mesh and surgical steel. The pain was unreal. It felt as if my face had been threaded with twine and on either end a football team pulled with all their might. I felt flesh tear as I rolled in agony. My brothers laughter turned into yelling as he told my family to head to shore and get a knife. It was a 10 minute round trip. I bit my lip. I was furious. The pain, losing the piercing, everything just wasn't right. I could only imagine what was waiting for me when I got back into shore. The rest of my family, aunts, uncles, cousins, my grandmother, all greeting me with, "That'll teach you never to pierce your face." or "I knew this would fucking happen, now you're scarred for the rest of your life" and so on. I took a deep breath, I sneezed. As I sneezed I heard a ripping noise, but it wasn't my skin, it sounded like velcro. I told my brother to look to see if the mesh was attached with velcro. 30 seconds later I was separated from the tube of death and mutilation. I wanted to cry. Not because of the pain, but because my piercing was gone. Ok so that sounds gay, but whatever, I fucking loved that shit. Anyways, the ride home was silent. The piercing still in my face but a bloody mess. We cruised into town looking for the hospital, and being cottage country the closest one was 40 minutes away in Newmarket.
After a shit drive, local anesthetic that went in one end of the piercing canal and out the other *into my eye* **in other words it did nothing to freeze my face** and a 2 minute session with a scalpel and unfrozen face, insert a generous amount of bleeding into the ear *I was lying down* and 5 minutes of applying pressure to a cut that wouldn't stop bleeding and you've got the worst ending to the best weekend ever. So, goodbye loyal piercing, you stuck in me from day one. We formed a bond of scabby goodness and washed it all away with warm water and sea salt. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to rub my scars with vitamin E and Cortizone to minimize the scarring. Scarring? Scaring? fuck it...
-Andrew
meow:
Thanx for the set comments! 
elana:
Surface bars never stay. I had my verticle bridge pierced four times and all I have now are some dents. Fuckin' dents. 