apologees

so today i learned that my heart does not like to beat regularly. it prefers to beat at 90 bpm when i am resting, but it likes to take 2 or 3 second breaks every 8 or 9 seconds or so. when it does this it stops. entirely. which means that it ISN'T BEATING 20 seconds out of every minute. i find this rather disturbing, considering...

i have incredibly high blood pressure for my age/weight, etc. and that's kinda fucked up, because...

i have the lung capacity of a hamster. and will probably need an inhaler soon.

and all that adds up to me breathing, but not getting any oxygen in my blood. which my heart is straining to get around my body. which makes me feel like i have a fever (chills, body aches, etc), even though my temp was actually 96 or 97 degrees when i was at the doctor.

so i don't have the flu. just bronchitus and almostpneumonia. and i'm gonna die if i don't change how i live and stuff. that sucks ass.

also, i am busted about other stuff.