There are so many things that I want to learn how to do, and I'll probably never have time to do it all. I feel like I'm over the hill at 25 or something. I know I need to get over that. I mean, even J.T. LeRoy isn't really 25, right?
This weird feeling like my life has somehow passed me by because I've done... Read More
The simple fact, boing-boing, is you have talent
coming out of your glands.
YOU CAN do all of those things. So go / start.
I don't think it starts on that island, but who knows.
There is going to be classes, and support systems,
and more good SG people -- Siv and Gadget --
certainly, and more, in PA than could be near you
now.
I survived Pennsylvania, and even adapted to the fucking cold. I am back in the south now, and need to get some sleep in my real bed. Then I get to start phase 3 of this whole moving/business/scary grown up process.
Remind me to tell you my thoughts on X, Margaret Cho's book (the audio version), and why The 25th Hour made me cry like... Read More
I'm thinking of changing my "makes me sad" to "the fact that so many of the lovely ladies on suicidegirls make posts begging for affirmation from their audience."
Not all of them, to be sure. But it feels like an increasing number of posts I read from girls are of some variation on the "I'm not pretty" (pleasetellmeI'mpretty) type. Passive-aggressive fishing for compliments annoys me,... Read More
I almost missed this journal. I was in a real downer,
and then I got sick, and when I came back to this
compromise I have made with the world around me
I laughingly call reality, I saw your words about to leave
my current journals log.
I don't want to ever miss your words because of the brain
inside, and behind them. And beside I have the same
levels of curiosity, both political and culturals as you do.
You are the person to talk about the excesses of boob
talk and the possible invasion of Syria in the same email.
As above I am reminded on once being told by a friend that there was a German school of pyschology that practiced the belief that there are two ur neurotic states
which are universal in our time. One is for woman, the other for man. The woman is afflicted with insecurity; the
male with "the fear of the stranger male." If nothing else
it sounds right for the good old days of living in a cave,
which of course many of us still do in our heads a good deal of the time.
I have certainly noticed the almost correspondence between really great looking women (with whom I have
always had friendships of a special not necessarily sexual
nature, but deep and odd friendships unique as a kind),
and I have always felt this thing that I, she, MUST do
sommething this way for fear of offending ,,,, who.? That
would have to start with Mom and Dad, and the fact that
the attempt never quite suceeded, because it was certainly never about looks to begin with. Looks, however, may have been the form of praise: our pretty
young daughter, right, in a path of destruction connected
to our handsome young son, and off we go into what the
hell does that mean or amount too for the rest of our life.
I don't care. Just keeping telling me that?
Anyway the Pat's are not going to get past the Colts this
year, and there are going to be new teams in the Super
Bowl, but not in the NBA finals. Beside that Over There
worked as a television show, Rome was gorgeously lame,
and I need the name from you again of that Verigo comic
you recently recommended. My pal Carol Tyler got a great review on Time.Com today, so all of us cheering for her were thrilled. My own research into the materials I need to know to complete my next, already advanced, book keeps turning up thrilling stuff, and I am at the door of a
wonderfully innocent and fresh seeming romance by email only of course with this person in France. Too bad my lungs are so shot I have no idea -- fifteen minutes or fifteen years -- how long, or how deeply,I will continue to have this first row seat at this circus.
Good to be in touch with you always,
on these midnight meanderings through the grave yard.
BC
I thought Twwly's journal today was sent from a place
obviously very close to heaven. I loved hearing every word. She is one of my favorites too. As is her dog.
I should go see a movie or something, or try to make friends, blah blah blah. Instead, I'm going to update this shit, then curl up with a book, notebook, a movie, and the space heater.
Why do I want to move back up north?
I do like it here, though. I've seen Pride and Prejudice and the Sarah Silverman... Read More
I could pick it apart, I suppose. I could've picked the musical apart when I saw that. But I didn't. I loved it and had a lump in my throat most of the way through. If that makes me cheesy, then fuck you. I love it.
you know, if we're really wondering how you measure a year, and we're measuring... Read More
Why do I feel like this guy read my journal entry? Ha. Wish I could take credit. It's a New York Times editorial on Johnny Cash, and you should read it, too.
Thanksgiving weekend is over and with it comes the feeling that I'll never spend time with these same people like this again. I saw my old friend Erik for the first time since... Read More
Lester Bangs said, "We will never agree on anything the way we agreed on Elvis."
I think it's even more true of Johnny Cash.
Who else can Snoop Dogg, Justin Timberlake, and teenage American MTV fans agree upon with most of their parents? What other musician would make that seventy-something man go out to his car today and bring me in a burned compilation all... Read More
Nothing that has happened in the last couple of days has improved my mood. Instead I have wanted to kill every member of my family, as well as the only person really that I hang out with around here.
Fucking hell. I'm supposed to spend a week in Philly with my sister and right now I don't want to spend ten minutes in the same... Read More