anything

i don't think i have ever been more mellow in my life.

everything's kinda.. together, and about to fall apart. this is the calm before the storm, and i am enjoying it.

ever since i moved here, i've been pushing on a big rubber slingshot. and what i've discovered is that if other people think the slingshot is worthwhile, they will start pushing along with...
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i suppose i should know better by this point, but how do things like this happen?

alright, so today i made it to work, despite being sick, so i could make it to my annual review and find out what my bonus is going to be. due to some people not being able to do math, apparently they will be trying to screw me out of some. so i'm taking this to a higher authority. most likely your mom.

i managed...
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i am more differenter now than i was before.

i think i was too busy having fun splashing around in puddles to notice i got swept away in the undercurrent and i am now deep in the goblin king's lair.

and we are all doing the Magic Dance.

Dance, Magic Dance.

i really wanted vanilla vulva, but i had to settle for shaved peach because of who i want to patronize.

that was everything i needed. a weekend on the beach with a crew of great people. hot tub, bonfire on the beach, karaoke, massive games of halo, drinking for days at a time, gambling at a casino, winning while gambling at a casino, going to a"joke shop" trailer with a creepy old guy that had lots of pictures of strippers, destroying everyone at asshole, drinking...
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have you ever felt like a grown up just because you didn't shit your pants?

there is a woman where i work. i use this term lightly because she looks like she is about 2 hormone shots away from dropping her testes. she has a voice that sounds like peewee herman played in slow motion.

there is a man where i work. he is balding, very republican, and has the single most annoyingly monotonal nasal voice i have ever heard....
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today i give a ride to someone who will be bailing out their ex-fianc from jail. this person put them in jail and has a restraining order against them, hence they cannot be the one to bail them out of jail.

when i was living in the midwest, i once saw jerry springer. it seems he's following me out here.

i've been watching someone slowly turn from someone with a lot of energy and potential into someone who has discovered it's easier to be lazy and a victim.

the whining and inanity does not stop. is it too late to have them aborted?