anything

i really wanted vanilla vulva, but i had to settle for shaved peach because of who i want to patronize.

that was everything i needed. a weekend on the beach with a crew of great people. hot tub, bonfire on the beach, karaoke, massive games of halo, drinking for days at a time, gambling at a casino, winning while gambling at a casino, going to a"joke shop" trailer with a creepy old guy that had lots of pictures of strippers, destroying everyone at asshole, drinking...
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have you ever felt like a grown up just because you didn't shit your pants?

there is a woman where i work. i use this term lightly because she looks like she is about 2 hormone shots away from dropping her testes. she has a voice that sounds like peewee herman played in slow motion.

there is a man where i work. he is balding, very republican, and has the single most annoyingly monotonal nasal voice i have ever heard....
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today i give a ride to someone who will be bailing out their ex-fianc from jail. this person put them in jail and has a restraining order against them, hence they cannot be the one to bail them out of jail.

when i was living in the midwest, i once saw jerry springer. it seems he's following me out here.

i've been watching someone slowly turn from someone with a lot of energy and potential into someone who has discovered it's easier to be lazy and a victim.

the whining and inanity does not stop. is it too late to have them aborted?

dawn of the dead.

rocks.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

classic.

i love good movies.

one ex-roommate is bent all out of shape because he has lost the love of his life and his one true escape out of his entire life due to drunkenness and pride.

one ex-roommate is bent all out of shape because he bent her out of shape.

"alright, i am going to tell you a story now about how people like that sad pathetic prick...
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today i was walking down a sidewalk. there were three girls sitting on two benches. a brunette on the first and a blonde and redhead on the second. they all looked about 15. by the time i got close enough to see them better, they looked to be in their mid twenties.

as i walked back, there were three women there, same haircolors, same places,...
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while i was sleeping someone snuck into my house.

police surrounded the house.

police called inside the house and spoke to the person who snuck in.

said person surrendered and was arrested, and is currently in jail.

this person had a key to my house.

all while i was sleeping.

i woke up the next day, hung out with friends, and didn't find out until...
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have you ever had anyone describe something to you that made it seem like it was the coolest thing ever, and you were all excited to see it, then when you actually saw it you wondered what they got so excited about?

rock climbing last night again. i am decidedly red, raw, and sore today.

one of my roommates just fell down a flight of stairs into a closed door.

the demon kitty that never lets anyone touch him just marched up to me and demanded that i pet him.

i think my roommates have a new alarm clock that sounds like a pissed off monkey.

this...
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