On Australian television, there's an advertisement for Kellogg's Sultana Bran that uses the tune to 'I Heard It On The Grapevine.' I love that fucking song, and goddamn I hate advertisers using it.
I very rarely write to companies. In fact, I never have. But goddamn Kellogg's forced my hand. I bet they'll be weeping for days after this. Alternatively, they'll read three words of it and throw it in the bin and go and roll around in their vast halls full of cash money. Goddamn swine!
Here it is:
Dear Kellogg's,
I've seen your Sultana Brand advertisement approximately 30 times now. Every single time, I've muted it and cursed your advertising team with every portion of my soul. The fact that you've joined a long line of companies who have destroyed a brilliant song - that'd be 'I Heard It On The Grapevine' - makes me want to openly weep. If karma exists, circumstances will somehow dictate that your entire advertising team are forced to listen to your advertising abomination on a constant loop for the rest of their lives.
In case I've been unclear, can you please get rid of that ad and rely on genuine imagination or original thought as opposed to co-opted brilliant old songs and turning them in to mind-numbingly offensive advertising jingles. Whoever is responsible is showing the utmost contempt for the advertising industry by displaying such an intense lack of imagination.
Here's a tip: No one who has heard Marvin Gaye or John Fogerty perform that song have any respect for sultana, bran or indeed any combination thereof. Whenever I see a sultana now, I curse at it with the kind of passionate vitriol typically reserved for fascism or animal cruelty.
Sincerely,
Anton D. Trees
I very rarely write to companies. In fact, I never have. But goddamn Kellogg's forced my hand. I bet they'll be weeping for days after this. Alternatively, they'll read three words of it and throw it in the bin and go and roll around in their vast halls full of cash money. Goddamn swine!
Here it is:
Dear Kellogg's,
I've seen your Sultana Brand advertisement approximately 30 times now. Every single time, I've muted it and cursed your advertising team with every portion of my soul. The fact that you've joined a long line of companies who have destroyed a brilliant song - that'd be 'I Heard It On The Grapevine' - makes me want to openly weep. If karma exists, circumstances will somehow dictate that your entire advertising team are forced to listen to your advertising abomination on a constant loop for the rest of their lives.
In case I've been unclear, can you please get rid of that ad and rely on genuine imagination or original thought as opposed to co-opted brilliant old songs and turning them in to mind-numbingly offensive advertising jingles. Whoever is responsible is showing the utmost contempt for the advertising industry by displaying such an intense lack of imagination.
Here's a tip: No one who has heard Marvin Gaye or John Fogerty perform that song have any respect for sultana, bran or indeed any combination thereof. Whenever I see a sultana now, I curse at it with the kind of passionate vitriol typically reserved for fascism or animal cruelty.
Sincerely,
Anton D. Trees
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
lol! that ad is ridiculous!. I don't usually watch television, but the other day I flicked it on and happened to catch that gem -- it destroyed me mentally
Yes I am going down to sydney and melb to approach boutiques and shops that will hopefully order my range.. xfingers crossedx.. getting a good response up here for the shirts, but I haven't finished the rest of the range yet, so hopefully I will get a good response for the skirts and dresses as well.