I spoke to her yesterday. After seeing her and freaking out, I figured we would actually bump into one another - so I IMd her to say hi - I saw you - just saying hey.
It led to a chat. And then she called me later. Talked for about 1/2 hour. Told her lots of things - I was disappointed in the way she...
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It led to a chat. And then she called me later. Talked for about 1/2 hour. Told her lots of things - I was disappointed in the way she...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
incorrigible:
way to go. sometimes it's good to talk to the people you're thinking about....reminds you of their reality versus your idea of them.
threestares:
excellent. 
I JUST SAW HER!!!!
She was walking her dog - I was driving home and stopped at a stop sign. I FREAKED. I didn't stop and I doubt she saw me.
I feel like it's the day we broke up. My stomach jumped up into my throat. I cried. And I didn't remember any of the horrible things she did to me. I just saw...
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She was walking her dog - I was driving home and stopped at a stop sign. I FREAKED. I didn't stop and I doubt she saw me.
I feel like it's the day we broke up. My stomach jumped up into my throat. I cried. And I didn't remember any of the horrible things she did to me. I just saw...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
threestares:
i hope you are okay!?
song:
i will try - so far i haven't mastered it. Thank you so much for being so sweet 
I know you're sick of hearing about this - but SG is the only journal I have. Thank you all for your insights, shared experiences, patience and encouragement. I think I am going to cry just thinking about how good you SGers are to me during my recovery. Danielle, thank you for coming back into my life.
Weekends are particularly hard without her. Severus...
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Weekends are particularly hard without her. Severus...
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severus:
And if I were in town I'd say let's go get tacos, I need to get the REAL thing you know.
severus:
Ahhh see you there then, someday. Well. If you haven't moved of course. I hope your night was OK. It's 12 pm here, I'm eating a vegetable burger someone made me and I fell asleep like... 5. My dog has been slacking at my feet all morning too, perfect little feet warmer. It's brrrr here, someone said yesterday that it was sunny but "cold" in LA. Yeah, sure. I bet it's SOOO cold 
Have had a panic attack both yesterday and today while at work. Got to be so bad I thought I would burst. I wanted to call her - or IM her - or something. Wanted to hear her say she fucked up big time.
I didn't. Because - what's the point.
Now, in the evening (well, night) - I am more clear headed and accepting...
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I didn't. Because - what's the point.
Now, in the evening (well, night) - I am more clear headed and accepting...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
severus:
I wish I could shut your brain off for a while. Like, get som fucking rest from all of this. Just for a little while or your mind will go crazy. You do need to do things you find really great, ok, even if you have to work alot, you can't just work, or think of her and this and that. If you're so fucked up about this as it seems, I maybe think talking to her would have helped IF SHE WASNT SO CRAZY cause from what you've said it doesn't really seem to help even a little to talk to her about it, question her and what not. That's really annoying.
threestares:
this, too, will pass.
Maybe I need to develop an attraction to someone else. While I see lots of attractive women every day - I find that I am not attracted to them.
And when I see someone with her figure, I get short of breath. She honestly must create a stronger pheremone than other women.
I hate that she damaged me.
Yet my head spins with the desire...
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And when I see someone with her figure, I get short of breath. She honestly must create a stronger pheremone than other women.
I hate that she damaged me.
Yet my head spins with the desire...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
danielle:
you are not disregarded.
lets go to vegas
lets go to vegas
pb:
the opposite of love isn't hate. it's indifference. that wounds more than any lover's quarrel.
How long before I smile and mean it? Before food regains its flavor? Before I have a conversation that's not about work or her?
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trilobyte:
No worries man. Mine was the worst dumping ever - a perfectly wonderful girl, no cheating, and I had no idea she was getting cold feet. I'll go through the sordid details over drinks sometime.
It's perfectly normal to be wrecked right now, especially if you knew it wasn't destined to be. Things are gonna be a lot more alright than you think they will. That list of accomplishments you posted the other day. Remember, that's not the work of a complete idiot, they weren't handed to you on a plate. You may question yourself more at the moment, but it doesn't change the answer...
~Trilo~
It's perfectly normal to be wrecked right now, especially if you knew it wasn't destined to be. Things are gonna be a lot more alright than you think they will. That list of accomplishments you posted the other day. Remember, that's not the work of a complete idiot, they weren't handed to you on a plate. You may question yourself more at the moment, but it doesn't change the answer...
~Trilo~
severus:
Hm... I'm not sure, you might have? 
Yeah, seems like everyone on my friendslist on here need a big make out party. It just doesn't work like that. Damn.
How are you doing today?
Yeah, seems like everyone on my friendslist on here need a big make out party. It just doesn't work like that. Damn.
How are you doing today?
Gawddamn did I ever miss her today. Just hanging out with her. In spite of all her flaws and the attrocities she committed - I still miss her wit and charm.
Then I remember that she cared so much about me that she told a guy she just met that she and I weren't together anymore, blew him then told him she wanted him to...
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Then I remember that she cared so much about me that she told a guy she just met that she and I weren't together anymore, blew him then told him she wanted him to...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
threestares:
you're welcome.
your update indicates you have moved on to another emotion. it's a roller coaster.
your update indicates you have moved on to another emotion. it's a roller coaster.
oxy:
theres going to be someone else out there for you...that lonelyness wont last....and eventually youll be able to laugh at it....cause you will have the perfect person for you.
Stay Strong.
Stay Strong.
So, my story for the new Wicked West book is about a man who falls in love with a whore, but doesn't know it.
I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding.
threestares:
isn't that ironic?!
surlyclown:
As the cliche goes...use it for your art.
I have a good heart
I am witty
I have loyal, supportive, amazing friends
I am generous
I am considerate
I love making people laugh
I have accomplished everything I have ever set out to do:
Become a radio DJ
Tour North America in a comedy group
Acted in movies and on TV
Written and produced TV shows
Wrote, produced and directed an independent feature...
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I am witty
I have loyal, supportive, amazing friends
I am generous
I am considerate
I love making people laugh
I have accomplished everything I have ever set out to do:
Become a radio DJ
Tour North America in a comedy group
Acted in movies and on TV
Written and produced TV shows
Wrote, produced and directed an independent feature...
Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
pb:
looking at your book choices, i notice you're a Moore fan. awesome. i liked the one about the pilot the best. forgot the long title though.
threestares:
good for you!!
i love that you posted that at 11:11, it is my favorite time of day. remember all that is positive in your life.
i love that you posted that at 11:11, it is my favorite time of day. remember all that is positive in your life.
My first day of therapy today. I think I overwhelmed the poor fucker. He's a student - not a PhD.
Pretty much all he said was "Wow. I imagine you feel horrible about this" and "You took a step by coming here."
I cried the whole time.
I have been uncomfortable sleeping on my side of the bed without her there - and uncomfortable sleeping...
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Pretty much all he said was "Wow. I imagine you feel horrible about this" and "You took a step by coming here."
I cried the whole time.
I have been uncomfortable sleeping on my side of the bed without her there - and uncomfortable sleeping...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
pb:
don't write something positive if you're not feeling it. let yourself get it all out as it comes. this is YOUR journal, your place ot bleed, your place of catharsis. becoming friends with the pain is all that will help.
eric_j:
Thank you, sir. Nice to be back. How're things?
Am very sad and weak today. Physically weak. Emotionally weak.
It's very difficult for me to maintain no contact with her. The neighborhood haunts me. My office haunts me. My apartment especially.
It would be so easy to just stop by her apartment. But for what? To hear her say that she made a mistake, wants to change and be with me? That's not going...
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It's very difficult for me to maintain no contact with her. The neighborhood haunts me. My office haunts me. My apartment especially.
It would be so easy to just stop by her apartment. But for what? To hear her say that she made a mistake, wants to change and be with me? That's not going...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
cineman:
Good for you and your strength in the face of this trial. Your impulses to "slip" are natural but you are doing the right thing to avoid them, I tell you.
And talking to your pal Danielle - which I know usually makes you happy - is a good development as well.
I was planning on going to the Unurban to see some comedy tonight. Do you wanna go, or just come over here and hang and chat?
Let me know. The shit is about to hit the fan and I won't have as much downtime in the very near future, so I hope we can chill soon.
And talking to your pal Danielle - which I know usually makes you happy - is a good development as well.
I was planning on going to the Unurban to see some comedy tonight. Do you wanna go, or just come over here and hang and chat?
Let me know. The shit is about to hit the fan and I won't have as much downtime in the very near future, so I hope we can chill soon.
surlyclown:
Yeah, it's never so much about her...no matter who the her (um...I call creative license with that one.) It's more finding out the painful truth about ourselves and why we're attracted to people who are decidedly not good for us.
I wish nothing but the best for you and your battered heart.
I wish nothing but the best for you and your battered heart.
I feel guilty for not responding to others on my friends list who are having life difficulties right now - most of them much more serious than mine.
Am just as self-absorbed as she is?
I know that I am a considerate person and courteous - and compassionate. She has none of those characteristics.
I ignored her character - why? Because it was nice to...
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Am just as self-absorbed as she is?
I know that I am a considerate person and courteous - and compassionate. She has none of those characteristics.
I ignored her character - why? Because it was nice to...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cineman:
You know where I stand on the issue. We should talk again soon; call whenever, bro.
Hang tough.
Hang tough.
pb:
don't even try
to sort out the lies
it's worse to try to understand
-type o negative "i know you're fucking someone else"
now, the boys from brooklyn (that's type o negative in case you didn't know) aren't much on waxing eloquent, but the particular song those bars come from is perhaps the rawest, uglliest, blunt intrumentest, truest "she fucked me over" song in the history of "she fucked me over" songs.
if you have gmail i'll email it to you. it won't give you any insight and will probably twist the knife a little, but like a bullet wound or road rash, it always hurts more when you're excising the foreign, poisonous material in order to heal.
-pb
to sort out the lies
it's worse to try to understand
-type o negative "i know you're fucking someone else"
now, the boys from brooklyn (that's type o negative in case you didn't know) aren't much on waxing eloquent, but the particular song those bars come from is perhaps the rawest, uglliest, blunt intrumentest, truest "she fucked me over" song in the history of "she fucked me over" songs.
if you have gmail i'll email it to you. it won't give you any insight and will probably twist the knife a little, but like a bullet wound or road rash, it always hurts more when you're excising the foreign, poisonous material in order to heal.
-pb