anonymouse

It's really weird playing with my [brother's] brand spanking new Game Cube. I've been messing around with Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance, and there are documentaries on it. Actual documentaries, with real people, like a DVD. And it all comes on a mini-CD, not a cartridge. I mean, I've played games on other people's cubes before, but it's just eeeeeeee! Fun.

There's a new girl in the game. Well, there are several other girls on the game, but I haven't unlocked them. The new girl fights in a couple (kouple?) of different stances, but the most notable one is the crane (krane?) stance. Why? She has a plunging neckline, and every time she moves, her boobs jiggle. Those programmers have dirty minds. Sonya's boobs don't move. Does she have fake boobies?

I've been playing in "Konquest" mode, which is a hell of a lot funner -- pardon the colloquial vernacular -- than playing in practice mode because you win money. With that money you can buy stuff, like more revealing costumes for jiggling boobies. But you can also wager on fights, which is fun, because I know I'll always kick my brother's ass. That's not cocky. That's true.

Christmas was a hit. My father loved his out-of-print/impossible-to-find giant Russian cookbook. I also got him an anthropology book that refutes Western stereotypes of Japan. I convinced my mother that my brother wanted a game cube and Mortal Kombat, and okay, it was also sort of a present for me so it wasn't entirely altruistic, but Mike plays with my X-box all the time, right? Fair trade. He was absolutely gobsmacked. He had no idea, and he was like a little kid. And my mother really likes the Tiffany love knot earrings I got her. It was nice getting a discount. Unfortunately, I no longer have a job with Tiffany's after New Year's because my seasonal job is over. I was lucky enough to get a seasonal job, since the economy's so bad. But hey! Rich people aren't effected by the economy, so they could afford to hire me.

Anyhow, I'm sort of frustrated by a couple of the combos I have to do for the Konquest. Every time I try executing a combo like so -- "b, b, forward + y," for example -- I end up executing a "b, b, b" for whatever reason. I need to figure out how to stop doing that. I've done moves like the one before okay, but it usually takes me several tries before I get it right. That's annoying.

And I can't find any fatalities for the Game Cube online. But that's okay, because I can stick weapons in my opponents' torsos and legs and watch the blood spurt out. It's really gory. But sometimes I want to... wait. This is rad. I just found a link at GameFAQs to a special moves/fatality list. I have the special moves down. But now I have fatalities. YAY. And how to unlock characters. Yaaayyy.

I won't be available for a while as I will be ripping out spines and still-beating hearts.