anna

holy freakin crap. ive been gone a long time. unfortunately i no longer have internet access - meaning that my laptop is seeping with viruses and im too poor to fix it. i guess thats what i get for looking up so much porn and forgetting to renew my antivirus.....
lots of things to talk about, although i dont have the time right now. too busy wallowing in self-pity. starved for human contact. and the one person that i think might possibly give a shit wont return my calls. once again, the result of my own stupidity.
made an appointment with the psychiatrist again. i dont know what else to do. its been almost 6 years and nothings getting any better. i just want to be able to exist without having to drag this around with me.
ive been running a marathon with a broken leg. theyve pumped me so full of medications that i forgot about the pain. lifes not so bad when youre numb. but when the pills are gone, when the feeling comes back, you realize that its always been there. only now its ten times worse.