I'm not sure that things have gotten better since I've last written, but I've noticed that things are changing around me while living in my own little hermitage. Changine me as well.
As far as my lack of writing is concerned, my brain seems locked in conceptual stage. I have a few ideas brewing, but nothing feels solid enough yet to put down to paper. Then again, perhaps an extra modicium of patience wouldn't hurt the quality. I can't seem to answer journals of late though. I read them and have nothing to say. Do not think I'm ignoring you, but rather I'm only being silent and lurking.
I think Raven's Mother is finally getting the divorce that everyone's been predicting from day one. She called me yesterday and calmly announced that she and her girls would be moving in with her mom on the 31st, and I would be picking up and dropping off Raven there from that point on. I got about half a sentence out. The sentence would have acknowledged that the lease on their apartment runs out at the end of the month because she graduated and is no longer a student. But I didn't finish the sentence, but in her simple statement I saw a forest of red flags. Ever notice how often relationships fall apart right before a decision about housing has to be made? And why move in anywhere without your spouse? And since when does she ever tell me things I need to know so far in advance. I merely stumbled away from the sentence and....silence. Another thing she never does is allow dead air in a phone conversation. The only rational explanation I can think of not invovling the inevitable end of a shoddy marriage is that he found somewhere to crash to avoid her mom...but that's not a good sign either. God it would be wonderful to finally wash my hands of that meddling, conniving, scheming sack of shit. Without having my daughter as a human shield, I suspect he'll disappear from where I could find him. Good I hope this goes down soon.
Also, my decision to disallow my crazy ex from my daugther is being upheld; apparently Raven's mom found something in the parenting plan to back me up, and she's conceding. Another person that I'll never have to deal with again. This could be the start of something good...maybe.
Fuck, I don't know.
As far as my lack of writing is concerned, my brain seems locked in conceptual stage. I have a few ideas brewing, but nothing feels solid enough yet to put down to paper. Then again, perhaps an extra modicium of patience wouldn't hurt the quality. I can't seem to answer journals of late though. I read them and have nothing to say. Do not think I'm ignoring you, but rather I'm only being silent and lurking.
I think Raven's Mother is finally getting the divorce that everyone's been predicting from day one. She called me yesterday and calmly announced that she and her girls would be moving in with her mom on the 31st, and I would be picking up and dropping off Raven there from that point on. I got about half a sentence out. The sentence would have acknowledged that the lease on their apartment runs out at the end of the month because she graduated and is no longer a student. But I didn't finish the sentence, but in her simple statement I saw a forest of red flags. Ever notice how often relationships fall apart right before a decision about housing has to be made? And why move in anywhere without your spouse? And since when does she ever tell me things I need to know so far in advance. I merely stumbled away from the sentence and....silence. Another thing she never does is allow dead air in a phone conversation. The only rational explanation I can think of not invovling the inevitable end of a shoddy marriage is that he found somewhere to crash to avoid her mom...but that's not a good sign either. God it would be wonderful to finally wash my hands of that meddling, conniving, scheming sack of shit. Without having my daughter as a human shield, I suspect he'll disappear from where I could find him. Good I hope this goes down soon.
Also, my decision to disallow my crazy ex from my daugther is being upheld; apparently Raven's mom found something in the parenting plan to back me up, and she's conceding. Another person that I'll never have to deal with again. This could be the start of something good...maybe.
Fuck, I don't know.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
itzjusme:
I know what you mean aout reading journals and simply having trouble forming things to say. I am going through things myself. Don't think I am not here thinking of you and with you I just don't know what to say most of the time and don't want to say something stupid. I am here though. Even though most of the time you try to catch me on aim i've been busy. haha. I hope things get better for you. I'm sending you best wishes. 
jayde__:
My heart goes out to you, too. I can only imagine how troublesome and stressful this is, and mostly because I saw my sister's divorce and subsequent legal battles about custody and visitation rights. I hope everything will settle down for you, and things will all work out for the best. If you need to talk, I'll listen. I can be good at that sometimes. *hugs*