anger_frog

I want to thank everyone for being so kind the last couple days....I really appreciate it. Anyway, I promised a few of you that I would post my pick-up persuasive that I did for my final, so without further delay:

Hi there! I saw you out on the dance floor; do you need a drink? Oh, you have a drink, I see. What is that? Courvoisier? Damn girl, you pretty sip that! My name is Fuji by the wayno, Fuji. Like the mountain. Do you like the mountain? I like the mountain. Whats your name? Oh, I like that; thats Italian, right? Oh, I have a thing for Italian girls. Why dont we step aside and set down for a bit. Id like to talk to you some more. In fact, I am the one you should be taking home tonight, because Im the best man for the job.
Are you a little surprised by that? I believe in being honest, especially to a lady. I believe in showing respect to women in every possible aspect. Listen, a lot of the guys here tonight will tell you anything, promise anything, to get a gorgeous woman like you home. And thats all right that they want that, but lying about it just cheapens a beautiful thing, right? I believe if youre honest up front about it, a wild night of sweaty, hot, animalistic sex can be a thing of natural beauty. Still not convinced, huh? Thats okay, youre a smart person who doesnt make impulse decisions. But let me try to convince you; after all, thats why I brought this posterboard with charts and stuff. Im going to show you that all these guys in here cant give you what I can. Im going to tell you about some of the things I can do. Im going to relate to you some of the tales of all the women who said yes. Finally, Im going to explain that I have the qualities you want in a man. Then I know youll want to come home with me.

Wait, I noticed you checking out that guy at the bar. Ill admit, he might look better looking than me tonight, but looks are only half of it. A man has to be able to back it up. Here comes the hard science baby, and you better be ready, cause Im going to rock your
world with scientifically proven facts! Did you know, according to studies done by Alfred Kinsey, of The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, that 17.6% of males reach ejaculation less than 2 minutes after intromission and that
47.6% got off in less than five minutes into coitus? Thats right. Take him home, and youre in for two minutes of awkward sex and maybe followed up by a lame excuse. Take me home, and well be done by breakfastunless you like lunch better.
Another thing about all the losers here tonight, also from that same Kinsey study; did you know that less than 10% of males will perform cunnilingus, while 30% got fellatio? Oh, thats oral sex; and guess which gender is getting the short end of the stick? Thats right; you are. But it doesnt have to be that way. Come on home with me, and Ill give you the greatest oral presentation since JFK. Its kind of like Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country except I drop a syllable from country and it lasts longer. And in case theres a few other things youre wondering about as far as my goods, I just so happen to have a few charts herebet you didnt expect me to have that, huh? [Visual cue]
Oh, you want to know about me? Im a nice guyjust nice enough without being boring. Im nice to everybodymost everybody, anyway. I remember one time I was driving down 8th avenue and I saw this group of kids doing a fund-raising car wash. You see them all the time, but this one was different: it was for one of the poor black churches, and the kids had to use cardboard and pencils to make their signs. I drove up to the CVS and picked up a ton of art stuff, drove back and even helped them make the new signs. They offered to put me on their prayer list; I guess it worked, because here I am with you. But Im not just nice, Im also very determined. Determination is what keeps me alive and going forward.
One time I was trying to impress a girl in high school; she was Italian and I was crushed hard. There was this gang of punks who liked to give her a hard time; they liked to call her dago in public a lotstuff like that. One time they tried to do it while I was around. They figured I wouldnt do anything because there were 10 of them. I walked right over, got in the leaders face, and told him it wasnt right to make fun of peoples heritage, especially since his mom serviced so many random strangers a night, it was hard to tell what ethnicity his dad is, whoever he may be. I was more dedicated than they were, and they knew. She got an apology, and I got 10 little punk bitches kissing my ass that night. I didnt get her though; but it sure wasnt for lack of dedication. Oh, I guess youre used to hearing guys brag and lie though; I can understand that. Ive got something to back up my stories though.
I just happen to keep written testimonials on my person at all times for just such an occasion; testimonials of women who made the choice to go home with me. The first one was someone real special to me; well call her Amanda F. She was a fiery little redhead, passionate of life and love, and the carpet matched the drapes. Huh? What does that mean? Nevermind, its not important. Anyway, she had this to say about me: I was an avid user of the services for over a year, during which I received many benefits. I received a caring listener even if the problem was mundane or especially if it was potentially life threatening. I was taken out to eat and received many worthwhile tokens of affection for subscribing to the service. The service is extremely appreciative of its patrons and willing to go to great lengths to keep them happy. Why did she call me the service? That was her pet name for me, cause I was always ready to service her.
I have another one here, this one is from my old friend Heidi S. Heidi is a lesbian with fujisexual tendencies. Shes a pretty little thing, with soft pale skin, long dark hairvery femme for a West Virginia girl. Anyway, heres what she had to say about our past get-togethers: A testimonial for Fuji it just doesnt seem that one would be necessary. Lets face it, its obvious hes down for a good time. Give him a go, and you wont be disappointed. Hes enthusiastic about making his partners enjoy themselves. Hes intelligent enough to carry a conversation post frolic, which is important. Plus, he eats pussy better than any lesbian Ive been withand that says a lot. I drove 300 miles, to a town I had recently departed, just to hook up with Fuji. And would do it again if the opportunity ever presented itself again. Just think about it; when is the last time you had lovin so good that you wanted to write a good reference? Maybe its time you tried it.
In conclusion, baby, Im all you want tonight and then some. Ive told you want those other guys are lacking, and explained how I am not. I related my deep, personal experiences of love to you, and how I have touched their lives.and bodies. And Ive shown you that Im the kind, determined man you would want. All I want to do is to be the one you go home with tonight, instead of all these losers who just want to disappoint and use you. So come on and let it be me, if for only tonight if not the rest of your life, not for what I want, but what I can dedicate myself to giving you. Besides, you have to love me for managing to sneak a poster board and easel into a nightclub.