andreya

Once again I am terribly poor and spending recklessly. I wish I could stop. Just ignore all my friends and just be a hermit until I pay off my card. But that won't happen. And the boy in my room? He's still here. I know. I shouldn't have let him back in, but I did. I was too eager to sample what he had to offer. And it was good I must admit, but I think that outside of our sexual relations we have absolutely zero in common. So, I hang on, milking it for what I can, but knowing that sooner or later this will end and it will hurt. I almost wish he'd never talk to me again. But then I know I'd go crazy. I'd hunt him down and beg him to tell me what's wrong and ask him to come back. What a psycho bitch I can be. Sometimes I can't leave well enough alone. I hate it when people leave without a good explanation. Anyway, at least I seem to have tonight to myself. Feels like the first time I'll actually sit down to breath in weeks. I am so overspent. Hmm...Buddha nature. Maybe I'll actually meditate tonight.