the sky was screaming: i lost you
i tried, but me what could i do?
get out of bed, undo your head
until you don't look like a junkie
get out of bed, think what you said
kill the band
i was caught dreaming of wealth and
what i was taught came creeping in again
they get ahead, you get so mad
why do you...
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i tried, but me what could i do?
get out of bed, undo your head
until you don't look like a junkie
get out of bed, think what you said
kill the band
i was caught dreaming of wealth and
what i was taught came creeping in again
they get ahead, you get so mad
why do you...
Read More
I tried not to fall asleep as I sat there staring at the computer screen, wondering how I was going to last out the next four hours. Was everyone else in that office as bored as I was? Who knew?
I tried applying for a job to while away some time. Applied to the first posting I found. I wrote a long cover letter trying...
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I tried applying for a job to while away some time. Applied to the first posting I found. I wrote a long cover letter trying...
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vonbaxter:
A day at the office is there anything better? 
Happy Friday the 13th!
[Edited on May 13, 2005 9:31AM]
Happy Friday the 13th!
[Edited on May 13, 2005 9:31AM]
oh, my. 12 more days of SG enjoyment and then i am gone. weird.
bluevalentine:
You will be missed 
wallace:
yeah it was pretty crazy. i actually remained pretty mellow except with that dumbass who came along & tried to swoop on my mom. i just took everything one step at a time. i think my mom was pretty stressed out though. you're not coming back? aww.. 
well have an amazing rest of your life & everything like that!
well have an amazing rest of your life & everything like that!so tired. again. too much to do...things to clean, friends to see, people to meet, people to avoid, work to do, money to earn, problems to figure out, bills to pay, shows to go to, life's meaning to ponder. um...i'm exhausted.
cdt21:
I'm knick-knacked too except I've been trying to tame the bomb site that was masquerading as my garden
So what shows are you going to? I hope you're not avoiding me and changing the subject entirely how's your wardrobe doing - what styles /colours do you like for summer?? tell me about it
So what shows are you going to? I hope you're not avoiding me and changing the subject entirely how's your wardrobe doing - what styles /colours do you like for summer?? tell me about it
vonbaxter:
*hugs* I hope that you get a night of deep sleep soon and that life slows down a bit upon your awakening
i just recently realized that i have small boobs. strange thing to realize when for years i thought i had decently large breasts. haha. random.
cdt21:
They don't look either way *cough* 
actually, I thought pleasantly curvy in the red bikini.
Just right
actually, I thought pleasantly curvy in the red bikini.
Just right
most of us do not mean to misrepresent ourselves, but i think that many times we do. maybe it's that we do not really know who we are, or maybe it is just that we have a communicational disconnect. either way, i cannot help feeling sometimes that people are false. especially people who want to get into yoru pants. funny how a thing like sex...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cdt21:
I think people have a lot of surviving to do - e.g. your persona at work may appear different to in your own time. We get published lists of 'behaviours' to emulate and when 'store guy' says have a nice day it's posssibly not that sincere?
The 'way you come across' can be a real problem.
The 'way you come across' can be a real problem.
desert_monkey:
Hey!!!!! I'm back on! Everything's been wiped off my machine - completely. That's not always a bad thing, right? Except for the pix that I lost. About your entry. I know where you're comin from, but I also think that too many folks out there interpret people wrong. Somebody may present themselves a certain way because of their past experiences, or because that's the way they want people to view them, BUT (here's the catch) other folks are gonna read that person based on their past experiences. Case in point.....in today's america, most women have to remain suspicious (or guarded) of most men because there are just so many assholes out there, yes? Kinda like, you may really like wearing skimpy, or revealing, clothes cause they help you feel sexy, and good about yourself. Unfortunately, you also know that most folks (male and female) will tend to think that you're easy, just because you wear clothes that make you feel good. Messed up? Yeah. But it is what it is. I'm very simple and honest in the way I live life. So if I encounter a pretty girl, I'll tend to tell her so, knowing that 2 out of 3 times I'll just be ignored. Why? Cause so many times being plain ol' friendly with the opposite sex is read as being flirty. Other than that - you live in LA, where so many people are false. One of the many reasons why I chose to not live there.
I am leaving the site in about a month when my membership expires. I feel that perhaps I need to be more present in the tangible world that in this electronic world. Or not. I don't know. I am honestly rather lost. One moment I think one thing and the next moment I think the opposite. I am wondering lately if I'm not a failure...
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cdt21:
Oh that's a real shame, but I see your reasoning. I find SG helps me make a little more sense of the real one whilst being a bit of an escape from it.
You sound much like me. And your predicament.
contact me if you wish I'll give you all I've got
You sound much like me. And your predicament.
contact me if you wish I'll give you all I've got
thepumkinking:
thank you so much sweetie
sleepy. would like to go to sleep, but waiting for laundry to be done. it's 9:41 on a saturday night. pretty pathetic. why am i not out? because i'm poor. and tonight i found out that i'm $500 poorer due to the fact that ambulances aren't free and i have to pay for the one that took me to the hospital two months ago when...
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cdt21:
We're fortunate in that we don't (usually) have to pay for ambulances. I had one last year for breathing difficulties but that was because the operator summoned one before I could croak that I was able to drive down to the local hospital for a nebuliser.
I hope you weren't too shaken up or hurt. My crashes have always been at slow speed - one when stationery waiting for another car to crash into my driver's door and the other accelerating from stationery only to discover the car in front hadn't gone anywhere in the meantime.
You may be poor but you're richer for the experience
I hope you weren't too shaken up or hurt. My crashes have always been at slow speed - one when stationery waiting for another car to crash into my driver's door and the other accelerating from stationery only to discover the car in front hadn't gone anywhere in the meantime.
You may be poor but you're richer for the experience
Last night I took a cleaver to a dildo. It was so much fun to savagely cut that huge thing up. It almost freaked me out that I found it so enjoyable to cut up a likeness of the male organ. But I'm not really sick...not really. I cut it up because I had no use for it and I didn't just want to throw...
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cdt21:
oooh it brings tears to the eyes, I hope you used lube - you didn't?? Haha no wonder he left
A cleaver? *runs away at the rate of knots*
oooh it brings tears to the eyes, I hope you used lube - you didn't?? Haha no wonder he left
A cleaver? *runs away at the rate of knots*
cdt21:
Aww thanks for the acceptance
Holy shit! I've been dumped! And let me tell you, I have never in my life felt so good after someone pushed me away! Ah, well, he basically did my job for me. I knew we would not work. He was so goddamn manipulative and self absorbed, and I think he only heard what he wanted to. So he wanted to hear that I slipped...
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cdt21:
Freedom 
Once again I am terribly poor and spending recklessly. I wish I could stop. Just ignore all my friends and just be a hermit until I pay off my card. But that won't happen. And the boy in my room? He's still here. I know. I shouldn't have let him back in, but I did. I was too eager to sample what he had to...
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cdt21:
This entry *contains scenes of mild peril*. You don't exactly sound happy right now and if you don't curb your spending - not stop just tone it down a bit - you'll be a seriously miserable hawt person.
So you let him back in eh?
So you let him back in eh?
Fuck. He's in this room. He left days ago, but he's still here. He wants to fuck me, but he doesn't want to love me, and I feel sick. Does anyone believe in love anymore?
c0ngo:
I do but I don't think it believes in me.
cdt21:
yup, it's one of the few things that sustains along with hope (and faith if you're into that) but it is elusive and mightily challenged along the way.
In the meantime use a lot of room freshener and don't bring him back. Change the decor.
Hope all goes well...
In the meantime use a lot of room freshener and don't bring him back. Change the decor.
Hope all goes well...