Puerto Rico is... getting better? Still not great. We have a fake tree now W O O T!
Last night we were having dinner and my uncle wanted to go around the table and share Christmas memories we each had. Everyone had good memories, except my Grandmother, it gave me a little insight into why she is so emotional and prone to depression and negative thought. It's a good thing, it isn't that way anymore, I like learning about my ancestors past. Mine was that one time I was with a mall Santa and I couldn't think of what I wanted for Christmas and he told me that all I needed to do was think of it and he would bring it to me. I remember vividly being in my room with my cousin the night or so before Christmas and thinking to myself "I want that!" Having decided very last minute because Santa didn't need time to go shopping! I also remember thinking, if I get this that means Santa is real. Well I'm sure you guessed it, I didn't get it... lol jk I did actually get it, it was a large Godzilla toy, fucking schweet! That is likely my fondest Christmas memory.
It was this exact one, minus the inane text.
After that I told my family that of course that was my last fond Christmas memory. It is a well known fact in my family that I feel my Mom ruined Christmas. One year when I was still relatively young she said, I don't want to get a Christmas tree this year; that was the beginning of the end...I was depressed at a young age and I needed stability in my life, the lack of Christmas traditions wasn't what I needed. Although I attribute my lack of interest in Christmas to my Mother I don't blame her for it. A huge discussion sprung up from my reflection and I was saying that I would like to take making Christmas into an enjoyable holiday into my own hands. I used to think that I needed to find a girlfriend that was really into the Holidays and I would get involved in her traditions and we would build new ones of our own. But I realize now that I need to make Christmas my own. Not to mention that women hate me and I would be waiting forever to enjoy Christmas
! I told my family that if given the means I would like to hold Christmas at my house. The means would be...the house...I live in upstate New York right now going to school at Alfred University. At the moment I still live on campus and do not have a house. I hope that I will be able to purchase a house for next year, he housing market is cheap there, but it is still an endeavor that requires money I don't have right now. I want to build my own traditions for Christmas I think that will enhance the experience for me.
So far I have in mind:
1. Putting up my own tree, I have never done that under my own provocation and I have not been a part of that tradition in years.
2. Making my own ornaments, I go to art school that is an easy one, I think it would also be interesting to have all my art school friends contribute an ornament, that would be awesome.
3. Making my own Christmas Star/Angel. Similar to the ornaments but this would be even more exciting, it goes on the top! Both this and the ornaments I could still do years I don't have Christmas at my house, I could gift the ornaments to family and friends, it could simply be a Christmas tradition I have and the star/angel could be something I make new every year and bring where ever I am going.
4. Early Christmas party including my family, all my friends still at school and all my favorite professors. Have you met an art school professor? Dayum that would be a sick party!
Thats all I got so far, but I am a year ahead already, I want that house!
Good music Chin up Chin up
^click image to listen^
Last night we were having dinner and my uncle wanted to go around the table and share Christmas memories we each had. Everyone had good memories, except my Grandmother, it gave me a little insight into why she is so emotional and prone to depression and negative thought. It's a good thing, it isn't that way anymore, I like learning about my ancestors past. Mine was that one time I was with a mall Santa and I couldn't think of what I wanted for Christmas and he told me that all I needed to do was think of it and he would bring it to me. I remember vividly being in my room with my cousin the night or so before Christmas and thinking to myself "I want that!" Having decided very last minute because Santa didn't need time to go shopping! I also remember thinking, if I get this that means Santa is real. Well I'm sure you guessed it, I didn't get it... lol jk I did actually get it, it was a large Godzilla toy, fucking schweet! That is likely my fondest Christmas memory.
It was this exact one, minus the inane text.
After that I told my family that of course that was my last fond Christmas memory. It is a well known fact in my family that I feel my Mom ruined Christmas. One year when I was still relatively young she said, I don't want to get a Christmas tree this year; that was the beginning of the end...I was depressed at a young age and I needed stability in my life, the lack of Christmas traditions wasn't what I needed. Although I attribute my lack of interest in Christmas to my Mother I don't blame her for it. A huge discussion sprung up from my reflection and I was saying that I would like to take making Christmas into an enjoyable holiday into my own hands. I used to think that I needed to find a girlfriend that was really into the Holidays and I would get involved in her traditions and we would build new ones of our own. But I realize now that I need to make Christmas my own. Not to mention that women hate me and I would be waiting forever to enjoy Christmas
! I told my family that if given the means I would like to hold Christmas at my house. The means would be...the house...I live in upstate New York right now going to school at Alfred University. At the moment I still live on campus and do not have a house. I hope that I will be able to purchase a house for next year, he housing market is cheap there, but it is still an endeavor that requires money I don't have right now. I want to build my own traditions for Christmas I think that will enhance the experience for me.
So far I have in mind:
1. Putting up my own tree, I have never done that under my own provocation and I have not been a part of that tradition in years.
2. Making my own ornaments, I go to art school that is an easy one, I think it would also be interesting to have all my art school friends contribute an ornament, that would be awesome.
3. Making my own Christmas Star/Angel. Similar to the ornaments but this would be even more exciting, it goes on the top! Both this and the ornaments I could still do years I don't have Christmas at my house, I could gift the ornaments to family and friends, it could simply be a Christmas tradition I have and the star/angel could be something I make new every year and bring where ever I am going.
4. Early Christmas party including my family, all my friends still at school and all my favorite professors. Have you met an art school professor? Dayum that would be a sick party!
Thats all I got so far, but I am a year ahead already, I want that house!
Good music Chin up Chin up
^click image to listen^
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
jennrose:
send the porn to me and that way i can make sure you don't use it anymore. 
gadget:
I saw my family on christmas eve for a dinner out at the Ruth Chris Steak house. We were together for four hours. I felt guilty but it was a great meal followed up with a lazy day with my guy and a friend.