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anaxarete

gotham

Member Since 2006

Followers 115 Following 229

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Tuesday Apr 04, 2006

Apr 4, 2006
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well well well,
took a break from real life and went to Atlanta for about 36 hours.
went to a funeral. a 50 something cousin of mine that took his own life. he had been a BAD drunk/addict for the past 20 years or so. I thought he was pretty estranged from the family but it turns out people were kinda in touch with him. he has 3 kids - 13-23, his wife re-married a stand-up guy a while ago, he paid for the post-funeral lunch, impressive.

I wasnt too torn up, I had given up on this guy a while ago. alcoholism runs rampant in my family and as an ex-addict myself it always touches a nerve, but generally, I think he's happier now.

however, here's what I was thinking. religion is so fucked up (I know, theres a revelation)
my family is catholic and the older generations are pretty serious about it. I went to catholic school till I was 12.
It seems to me that most humans have a need to believe in something bigger. I have that need and I believe and I dont care if Im right or not, it just makes me feel better to believe. I spend some years trying to define what it is I believe in and it didnt really work for me. Ill use the word god for simplicities sake. All I know is my god is really nice and forgiving and never angry and wants me to be happy and have fun and help other people (probably, as long as they dont walk all over me when Im helping them)

so Im sitting in this funeral service and the priest is saying that because my cousin believed in christ hes going to heaven. Implying that if he didnt believe in christ he wouldnt go to heaven. What kind of bullshit is that?
I dont mind so much sitting through a catholic service, I know all the words and its comforting for me to say them, even if I dont believe in the way theyd like me to.
Lord, I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed

so, making up my own faith is all fine and good, but I like a community too and a place to go, but Im not sure I like any of the existing religions, so I was thinking I should start my own a la L Ron Hubbard. I could make up a story about the beginning of the world starring the super-hero version of myself.
Hmmm there could be a long-term art project in here


now, back to my ethics class.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
xxroninxx:
Man, religion and occultic stuff is an obession of mine because it's just infinitely interesting and fascinating--ever since I was in 5th grade and started to seriously question my own religion in, of all places, church camp. In other words...I want to say something on the topic but I know I'd be ranting on forever in a million directions and I won't put you through it biggrin

I'll just simply say that I'm agnostic personally, and I totally understand where you're coming from wink
Apr 5, 2006
zcxzcxzcxzcxzxcz:
Phew,

Catholicism is bad news. My mother was a lapsed-Catholic.

I'm a lapsed-agnostic.
Apr 5, 2006

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