amymay

i'm back hopefully for a while. (got the new power charger)
House + realtors = I'm in over my head. I think we found a good one (realtor) but its so hard to say i think monkeys with darts could guess about as well as i did today...
the house is comeing along... i'l post pics soon!
E is comeing in a week... i'm kinda blah about it. I love him dearly but for as much as i've complained while here... i missed everyone.. and i missed the city. and i really missed being my own person.

Emotionaly right now i'm a jumbeled mess. I'm trying to see my way clear but its not looking promising.
Intamacy is a wonderful beautiful thing ... that sucks. I feel volnerable and selfconious and a bit like i should be able to have this with E... and i don't That scares me. Everything scares me. Laying for four hours with someone thats not my fiance playing with his hair.... it shouldnt be that confortable. that SCARES the shit out of me. fuck i hate this.


oh and a wedding update... ITs going to be in Las vegas. We're extending our trip back to swing through and find a place. Also realized that my wedding is on the same weekend as burning man...