Ok so now its been a few hours sence my parents have gone. I miss my mom. I don't mean i want her here i mean i miss the women i remeber when i was growing up. She was strong and insitful. Now i see here in a different light. I don't want to say i'm ashemed of her but i don't know what other word to use. Some times i wonder what happend to her. How did she fade from her glory. Then she looks me in my eyes and tells me i'm just like her. And asks if thats ok.... Of course i don't say no but in side i'm running as fast as i can to get away from her. Dont get me wrong shes a wonderful women but shes very emotional and very self centered and very very nieve. Shes been hurt so many times its like she's lost the ability to trust in anyone but me. Its alot of preasure to make her happy, Preasure i don't know how to handel. When i was 8 she tried to kill her self but called 911 when she saw my school photo. Ever sence i've grown up knowing i'm the only reason she stilil lives. And she does not let me forget it. Befor I moved to calif. She told me If i didn't come back in 3 years she was leaveing her husband to move out here. I used to be able to controle her but sence i've moved out shes become a emotional train reck.
Now this is the first time we've seen eachtoher in monthes. E's dad was a royal pain in the ass which i half expected. But she let him ruin the weekend. She moped around and stuck her nose up. Everytime it got quiet she walked outside for a smoke She spent more time out side then with me. Then tonight she thought she should tell me how pourly she thought of my future father in law and how much she disliked that fact that E didn't stand up for us. She came very close to saying i should reconsider marriage. She did say ... "i just don't want to see you make a mistake" I just wanted her support...
Writting all this out and i realize how much i must seem like her.. I am an emotional reck on here but i use this blog as a venting post. I'm sorry for how offten it comes out badly.
I should be uploading pics of the house and the work i did soon but my batteries died and i need new ones.
MOM
Now this is the first time we've seen eachtoher in monthes. E's dad was a royal pain in the ass which i half expected. But she let him ruin the weekend. She moped around and stuck her nose up. Everytime it got quiet she walked outside for a smoke She spent more time out side then with me. Then tonight she thought she should tell me how pourly she thought of my future father in law and how much she disliked that fact that E didn't stand up for us. She came very close to saying i should reconsider marriage. She did say ... "i just don't want to see you make a mistake" I just wanted her support...
Writting all this out and i realize how much i must seem like her.. I am an emotional reck on here but i use this blog as a venting post. I'm sorry for how offten it comes out badly.
I should be uploading pics of the house and the work i did soon but my batteries died and i need new ones.
MOMVIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I wish I could help you in some way - deeper than cyber comfort
my sense of it is that you and E are not responsible for your parent's bad behaviour - they have their own lives and are responsible for themselves
you have to live your own life
if E is the rock you want to build your life on - then you go ahead and do it
if he isn't then make some hard decisions and move on
Well, i hope you had a nice time with Mom.... and i hope you had a nice weekend.
C