The members of my band exhibited great insensitivity and disregard for my feelings over the last 24 hours by not responding to a carefully researched and documented dossier of the secret codes and messages hidden in our new video.
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Here is the text of the tsk-tsk email I sent to them...
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I have chosen to take this opportunity to officially chastise each and every one of you for your callous disregard for my feelings. I honestly expected better from the guys I've spent so much time over the last few months building relationships based on honesty and trust. I would address this grievance in person, but I honestly think I would falter and lose face. So, I offer you the written version.
I spent a great deal of both time and effort last night poring over our video, searching for the most minute interesting details to bring to your attention. I had to change the batteries in my wireless mouse after countless clicks spent pausing, unpausing, and rewinding the footage to capture the most perfect images for inclusion in the email dossier I so lovingly prepared for you all. I toiled for hours preparing the text that accompanied those carefully chosen screen shots so that it would be clear, concise, and most importantly, entertainingly informative to each recipient. I sacrificed precious time that I could have spent on much more rewarding endeavors such as ensuring that my Sims 2 character devoted adequate time training his 'creativity' and 'body' attributes to get promoted from his job as 'Bookie', a much needed 'leg-up' that would have allowed him the financial freedom to buy some new curtains for his pad, and maybe a new toilet with a higher 'comfort' score. His time on the john could and should really be providing a bigger boost to his comfort level and overall life satisfaction.
Wait, I digress...
Where was I? Oh, right, admonishing you for your collective failure to acknowledge my dilligence and dedication while finding details so cleverly hidden by our videographers. After all the effort I put in, I expected at the very least, a heartfelt "u r dum' from someone. I recieved nothing but a clumsily worded email from Steve suggesting it would be better if I "put this kind of effort into [my] work". This insensitive response has led me to question where his true allegiance lies. Perhaps more cutting though is the absolute silence from the rest of you. Honestly, if any of you sent me an entirely banal, hokey bit of conspiratorial nonsense, no matter many supporting .jpg's were included, I would sit right up and type without hesitation 'YOU SUCK!'
So, as a result of my beloved band's slighting my earnest efforts, I resolve in the future to never waste the time and effort I put into my obsessive(compulsive) fits of wild speculation on such ingrates as you. Go find your own imaginary hidden messages!
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Here is the text of the tsk-tsk email I sent to them...
.
I have chosen to take this opportunity to officially chastise each and every one of you for your callous disregard for my feelings. I honestly expected better from the guys I've spent so much time over the last few months building relationships based on honesty and trust. I would address this grievance in person, but I honestly think I would falter and lose face. So, I offer you the written version.
I spent a great deal of both time and effort last night poring over our video, searching for the most minute interesting details to bring to your attention. I had to change the batteries in my wireless mouse after countless clicks spent pausing, unpausing, and rewinding the footage to capture the most perfect images for inclusion in the email dossier I so lovingly prepared for you all. I toiled for hours preparing the text that accompanied those carefully chosen screen shots so that it would be clear, concise, and most importantly, entertainingly informative to each recipient. I sacrificed precious time that I could have spent on much more rewarding endeavors such as ensuring that my Sims 2 character devoted adequate time training his 'creativity' and 'body' attributes to get promoted from his job as 'Bookie', a much needed 'leg-up' that would have allowed him the financial freedom to buy some new curtains for his pad, and maybe a new toilet with a higher 'comfort' score. His time on the john could and should really be providing a bigger boost to his comfort level and overall life satisfaction.
Wait, I digress...
Where was I? Oh, right, admonishing you for your collective failure to acknowledge my dilligence and dedication while finding details so cleverly hidden by our videographers. After all the effort I put in, I expected at the very least, a heartfelt "u r dum' from someone. I recieved nothing but a clumsily worded email from Steve suggesting it would be better if I "put this kind of effort into [my] work". This insensitive response has led me to question where his true allegiance lies. Perhaps more cutting though is the absolute silence from the rest of you. Honestly, if any of you sent me an entirely banal, hokey bit of conspiratorial nonsense, no matter many supporting .jpg's were included, I would sit right up and type without hesitation 'YOU SUCK!'
So, as a result of my beloved band's slighting my earnest efforts, I resolve in the future to never waste the time and effort I put into my obsessive(compulsive) fits of wild speculation on such ingrates as you. Go find your own imaginary hidden messages!
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stitchy:
Here is a heartfelt comment: u r a goofball! 
The things you conjure up....
The things you conjure up....