Dazed and confused
I started a journal ..with taped in pictures and such so it may say look to the left and there will be nothing there..sorry no visuals for this..someone tell me that you understand what I'm going though? ~Amelia
"I want to believe that he wants this to work. I want to know if all my heart has dreamt of and bled for is worth it. I only ask for 4 things in a relationship. Love - Respect - Trust - Good sex. These 4 things I ask for come naturally in one's mind and are free, and I give them from myself freely to those I care for. In the hopes of one day getting them in return.
I hope that I am not being to impetuous in this hope. My faith dies by the day, and the more I continue to hope, the less the dream seems to be real.
To the left of this page you can see two people. Look at them. tell me are they in love? or do they lust? they are wrapped up into each other kissing passionately yes, but do they love? Do they respect and trust one another? We can not know, for this is only a picture. I can only hope that she loves him completely, and that he cares for her more deeply then his being is able to understand. The ideals of love are Skewed and Unclear. Is love adoration? Is love completely based on appearance? Do we love someone simply because they are beautiful to us? Is that why we dress up the dead? So that we can love for appearance and not what is already there...death? Are we to understand that LOVE IS FINITE? That love itself does end when the luster is gone?
WOMEN WHO UNDERSTAND POWER
Women with power get it all. They understand that beauty, brains, and lust can jump them into any man's bed and pocketbook. Women can influence men more then anything else in the world, save for money, and power. A woman can be a slut and get no where. A woman with beauty, conviction and sex appeal can have anything she desires, she just need reach out and take it. I have seen it work. I myself do not want to take someone's life like a simple con artist, I want to SHARE someone's life with them, and not take advantage of them.
I am attracted to many different types of guys. Above to the left is a picture of my ex-boyfriend Seven. A boy I was involved with for only three weeks. Yet, I still contained the capacity to love him. Is it because he had money? no. Is it because he had a wonderful personality? yes partially. I was mainly attracted to Seven for his Shocking appearance. Tattoos and piercings, chains, the grungy-punk-goth look. The fact that thought the attention he got, I would get attention too, just for being in his company.
I guess I feel unseen in the world. Maybe I just want someone to see me for WHO and WHAT I really am. I guess that is why I am as submissive as I am, I just want someone to see me, all of me. I guess it got to the point where if I have to do anything to get their attention, protection, respect, trust, and love ..I would. I don't want to be alone..I wish for that no more."
I started a journal ..with taped in pictures and such so it may say look to the left and there will be nothing there..sorry no visuals for this..someone tell me that you understand what I'm going though? ~Amelia
"I want to believe that he wants this to work. I want to know if all my heart has dreamt of and bled for is worth it. I only ask for 4 things in a relationship. Love - Respect - Trust - Good sex. These 4 things I ask for come naturally in one's mind and are free, and I give them from myself freely to those I care for. In the hopes of one day getting them in return.
I hope that I am not being to impetuous in this hope. My faith dies by the day, and the more I continue to hope, the less the dream seems to be real.
To the left of this page you can see two people. Look at them. tell me are they in love? or do they lust? they are wrapped up into each other kissing passionately yes, but do they love? Do they respect and trust one another? We can not know, for this is only a picture. I can only hope that she loves him completely, and that he cares for her more deeply then his being is able to understand. The ideals of love are Skewed and Unclear. Is love adoration? Is love completely based on appearance? Do we love someone simply because they are beautiful to us? Is that why we dress up the dead? So that we can love for appearance and not what is already there...death? Are we to understand that LOVE IS FINITE? That love itself does end when the luster is gone?
WOMEN WHO UNDERSTAND POWER
Women with power get it all. They understand that beauty, brains, and lust can jump them into any man's bed and pocketbook. Women can influence men more then anything else in the world, save for money, and power. A woman can be a slut and get no where. A woman with beauty, conviction and sex appeal can have anything she desires, she just need reach out and take it. I have seen it work. I myself do not want to take someone's life like a simple con artist, I want to SHARE someone's life with them, and not take advantage of them.
I am attracted to many different types of guys. Above to the left is a picture of my ex-boyfriend Seven. A boy I was involved with for only three weeks. Yet, I still contained the capacity to love him. Is it because he had money? no. Is it because he had a wonderful personality? yes partially. I was mainly attracted to Seven for his Shocking appearance. Tattoos and piercings, chains, the grungy-punk-goth look. The fact that thought the attention he got, I would get attention too, just for being in his company.
I guess I feel unseen in the world. Maybe I just want someone to see me for WHO and WHAT I really am. I guess that is why I am as submissive as I am, I just want someone to see me, all of me. I guess it got to the point where if I have to do anything to get their attention, protection, respect, trust, and love ..I would. I don't want to be alone..I wish for that no more."
It's really hard when you pour your self into somebody and don't get the return you think you deserve. I myself think that I'm a fairly selfless person, so I guess I need to find someone who is self less too. (would that even work)?
Maybe all this doesn't make sense. Sorry. You can slap me around a little if you want. : D