alyssum

I was a very independent child, determined not to be tied down by marriage or kids. But as soon as I realized my parents couldn't take care of me and government aid or scholarships weren't available me, I grasped onto the first person who offered to take care of me. Passage 1. And take care of me he did. I barely worked, I didn't learn to drive till I was 26, no career ambitions. But I took care of him too, and spent my time becoming more of what he wanted me to be. I found my career in part because of that, and then succeeded at it in part due to some wonderful mentors.
At about the time I was 25, I got it into my head that I could do things. Time for Passage 2. I'd had quite a few work-successes, and found them intensely satisfying. Getting my driver's license was kind of the watershed event. It meant I could have a social life, do things on my own. Mr. Ex was incredibly supportive. It meant I was taking care of myself, finally. Then he started having his own stirrings to get bigger work-successes, which were temporarily slowing down for him, and I quit taking care of him as much. Drama ensued. Plus in my new-found social life I started meeting enough other people to realize there were certain dynamics and patterns in our relationship that were decidedly unhealthy. Kablooey. Passage 3.
Well crap, now I've got to take care of myself again! And now I was completely over-extended financially. Hey, there's a nice boy who's eager to help! Well, that was entirely unfair and unpleasant for him. I wanted someone to fill that hole exactly - nobody ever told him his job description had changed. And yet he's persisted, and we've weathered a lot of nasty storms. But he seems to understand and appreciate that what he's getting at the end of this will be a more stable, self-reliant, and patient person who's hopefully worth the wait. Passage 4.