Friday night. Decided to stay in. Bored shitless. So without further adieu, here are some things currently occupying my thoughts:
1.) Boredom. Is anyone else out there bored to ass-numbing porportions? OK, I'm in the midst of looking for a job so I've got WAY too much time on my hands, but it just seems like I'm more bored now than I can remember being. It seems like everytime I turn on the TV, there's a scroller at the bottom of the screen just spitting out a constant stream of bad news, and all that information has turned me into an even more cynical, apathetic shell than before.
2.) Is it me or does Tom Selleck have the worst-sounding voice of any famous actor, especially one who's about 6'4" and used to star in an action series and has made umpteen TV cowboy movies? He's playing a pre-presidency Eisenhower in some movie on A&E or History Channel or Biography Network or some cream-all-over-mediocre-British-TV-shows- and-boring-historical-dramas-network, and I'm catching the trailer for it and the guy just sounds pathetic. He's not a terrible actor, hell I enjoyed Magnum P.I., but I don't know what it is about his voice that is just so... weak. I'm sure he's saying to himself, "So, I have a weird voice? I'm rich and I'm banging supermodels whenever I want. What are you doing Allied?" To which I'd say, "What? Can't hear you. Your voice is too thin!"
3.) What the fuck happened to Dennis Miller? I'll tell you what happened, he became too cool for the room and nobody gives a fuck about him any more. The guy can be funny, but he spends more time living in his head than Stephen Hawking, and now he's been banished to some stupid Republican spin show on CNBC that no one watches. Way to go Dennis!
4.) I love corn on the cob. I'm obsessed with it, I'm addicted to it, I would physically hurt someone who tried to take it away from me. Slathered in butter, add some salt... god damn I love that stuff. I've had dinners that consisted of 2 ears of corn and some Tostitos Crispy Rounds. I am a loser.
5.) Hoobastank's song "The Reason" is slowly borrowing a painful hole in my head. I hear it everywhere. I hate it. I don't even know what the song's about (the video has some chick getting runover by a car?) but I want to hurt somebody in that band for writing it. Fuck, it always seems that bands turn to big power ballads to jack sales. Don't fall for it, people!
6.) I'll admit right now that I'm going to hell for even thinking this, much less uttering it in public, but I kinda get a nostalgia chubby for Kobe Bryant's defense lawyer, the 3-foot-tall brunette who's always walking with him and smiling. Before you mock me, let me explain. It's not that she's attractive, though I guess she sort of is, if you like troll-like attorneys. It's that she reminds me of the preppy Connecticut moms of my friends when I was growing up. Had crushes on all of them. Cute little trophy wives who played tennis, took near lethal amounts of valium and grew into bitter hags when their asshole husbands traded them in for hot, young secretaries. Ah, the good old days. You know what, that's kind of sad. Go ahead and mock me.
7.) The NHL is fucked. It can't market itself to save it's life. Hockey's my favorite sport. Started playing it when I was about 6 and haven't put down a stick since. Love the game. Love it. But, I want to pimp-slap the league for allowing itself to get so bloated and so out of touch with the casual fan that it might go away forever. The best player in the world right now is Jerome Iginla of the Calgary Flames, a brother from Canada (a brutha!). Do you know who he is? Probably not. The Stanley Cup Finals are in progress and the Tampa Bay Lightning have two electric players, Vincent LeCavelier and Martin St. Louis, and I bet you couldn't pick them out of a police line-up. Sad. Owners are about to lock out the players over escalating salaries for the 2nd time in 10 years, at a time when ratings suck. I'm so angry about this (that and the fact that my beloved Rangers have tossed salads for 7 years) that I could cry. Please watch the Finals, and if there's a season next year, watch some games.
8) Speaking of brothers, ever noticed how all these reality dating shows put a brother or two in the cast, but they NEVER get picked? I caught a couple of minutes of some new MTV show with some chick who gets to pick her prom date. There are a couple of brothers in the cast, but are any of them in the final 3? Nigga please. Of course not. This actually doesn't bother me per se, other than it's comical. I think there are something like 40 million blacks in the U.S. (and at the rate we basically continue to kill each other there will be about 26 of us left in 10 years; not 26 million, 26 total! but that's a whole other issue) so it's not like these shows need to stack the deck or anything. In fact, I wouldn't be offended if there were no brothers among her suitors. But I'm waiting for the day when a brother is in the final 2 or 3, and the girl picks him!
Well, that's it for now. To anyone offended by my use of the "N" word, I apologize. I was using it purely for dramatic effect. That and I'm black so I'm allowed.
1.) Boredom. Is anyone else out there bored to ass-numbing porportions? OK, I'm in the midst of looking for a job so I've got WAY too much time on my hands, but it just seems like I'm more bored now than I can remember being. It seems like everytime I turn on the TV, there's a scroller at the bottom of the screen just spitting out a constant stream of bad news, and all that information has turned me into an even more cynical, apathetic shell than before.
2.) Is it me or does Tom Selleck have the worst-sounding voice of any famous actor, especially one who's about 6'4" and used to star in an action series and has made umpteen TV cowboy movies? He's playing a pre-presidency Eisenhower in some movie on A&E or History Channel or Biography Network or some cream-all-over-mediocre-British-TV-shows- and-boring-historical-dramas-network, and I'm catching the trailer for it and the guy just sounds pathetic. He's not a terrible actor, hell I enjoyed Magnum P.I., but I don't know what it is about his voice that is just so... weak. I'm sure he's saying to himself, "So, I have a weird voice? I'm rich and I'm banging supermodels whenever I want. What are you doing Allied?" To which I'd say, "What? Can't hear you. Your voice is too thin!"
3.) What the fuck happened to Dennis Miller? I'll tell you what happened, he became too cool for the room and nobody gives a fuck about him any more. The guy can be funny, but he spends more time living in his head than Stephen Hawking, and now he's been banished to some stupid Republican spin show on CNBC that no one watches. Way to go Dennis!
4.) I love corn on the cob. I'm obsessed with it, I'm addicted to it, I would physically hurt someone who tried to take it away from me. Slathered in butter, add some salt... god damn I love that stuff. I've had dinners that consisted of 2 ears of corn and some Tostitos Crispy Rounds. I am a loser.
5.) Hoobastank's song "The Reason" is slowly borrowing a painful hole in my head. I hear it everywhere. I hate it. I don't even know what the song's about (the video has some chick getting runover by a car?) but I want to hurt somebody in that band for writing it. Fuck, it always seems that bands turn to big power ballads to jack sales. Don't fall for it, people!
6.) I'll admit right now that I'm going to hell for even thinking this, much less uttering it in public, but I kinda get a nostalgia chubby for Kobe Bryant's defense lawyer, the 3-foot-tall brunette who's always walking with him and smiling. Before you mock me, let me explain. It's not that she's attractive, though I guess she sort of is, if you like troll-like attorneys. It's that she reminds me of the preppy Connecticut moms of my friends when I was growing up. Had crushes on all of them. Cute little trophy wives who played tennis, took near lethal amounts of valium and grew into bitter hags when their asshole husbands traded them in for hot, young secretaries. Ah, the good old days. You know what, that's kind of sad. Go ahead and mock me.
7.) The NHL is fucked. It can't market itself to save it's life. Hockey's my favorite sport. Started playing it when I was about 6 and haven't put down a stick since. Love the game. Love it. But, I want to pimp-slap the league for allowing itself to get so bloated and so out of touch with the casual fan that it might go away forever. The best player in the world right now is Jerome Iginla of the Calgary Flames, a brother from Canada (a brutha!). Do you know who he is? Probably not. The Stanley Cup Finals are in progress and the Tampa Bay Lightning have two electric players, Vincent LeCavelier and Martin St. Louis, and I bet you couldn't pick them out of a police line-up. Sad. Owners are about to lock out the players over escalating salaries for the 2nd time in 10 years, at a time when ratings suck. I'm so angry about this (that and the fact that my beloved Rangers have tossed salads for 7 years) that I could cry. Please watch the Finals, and if there's a season next year, watch some games.
8) Speaking of brothers, ever noticed how all these reality dating shows put a brother or two in the cast, but they NEVER get picked? I caught a couple of minutes of some new MTV show with some chick who gets to pick her prom date. There are a couple of brothers in the cast, but are any of them in the final 3? Nigga please. Of course not. This actually doesn't bother me per se, other than it's comical. I think there are something like 40 million blacks in the U.S. (and at the rate we basically continue to kill each other there will be about 26 of us left in 10 years; not 26 million, 26 total! but that's a whole other issue) so it's not like these shows need to stack the deck or anything. In fact, I wouldn't be offended if there were no brothers among her suitors. But I'm waiting for the day when a brother is in the final 2 or 3, and the girl picks him!
Well, that's it for now. To anyone offended by my use of the "N" word, I apologize. I was using it purely for dramatic effect. That and I'm black so I'm allowed.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
2. His voice is rather thin. It seemed to work for him, though, in the Magnum role and in Her Alibi. I haven't really seen him in anything else. Westerns are one of the few genres I completely avoid, so. But, I don't know. Something I'll have to take notice of the next time I see him in something.
3. What happened to Dennis Miller was 9/11. Seriously. Before then, he was this quirky erudite intellectual commedian who had a meaningless talkshow that allowed him to do a mini-act once a week for about fifteen weeks (I loved the show, but aside from the rants it was just your average "fluff piece" show). But then 9/11 happened and this really odd political side to Miller surfaced. He'd always mixed in political humor, but he'd always been very good about hitting both sides about equally. Suddenly his political humor was becoming very one-sided and more politcal than humor. There was this general smarminess to this switch. The HBO show gets cancelled and he's given a politcal show on one of the new networks and the fall is complete. I've caught a clip or two while flipping through the channels, and it just makes me shake my head. I liked Dennis when he was taking erudite cheapshots, not when he was pushing an agenda.
4. The thing about corn on the cob is that I get chin abrasions from my stubble when I eat it. It's worth it, mind you, but I tend to limit how often I eat it. And you don't put pepper on it? Zhuh?
6. Well, at least we'll be in hell together.
7. Hockey is impossible to market in America because i) the best teams are small market teams and Americans seem to only care about, or at least tune in to watch, teams from big markets; ii) rarely are the star players American, which means that the sport is viewed by the general public as a foreign sport; iii) much like in football, the protective equipment worn prevents the casual viewer from quickly identifying a given player; iv) the game itself is low scoring and repetitive (reasons why soccer continues to break through) and thus to the casual viewer seems boring; v) inexplicably the production values of hockey haven't changed much since the 70s. Now, iii) and iv) are superficial problems based on conditioning. As said, football has players just as anonymous, and baseball is an even slower, more repetitive game. i) and ii), though are the real sticking points, it seems. I remember I was watching basketball when the Flyers were playing games 6&7 against TB, and they kept breaking into the game to update on what was happening. Phillie is a large market. Since they were eliminated, I haven't heard anything about hockey from the basketball people. I'm not a fan of hockey, but I do hate to see a sport die.
8. I don't know. I always wonder why there aren't more latinos on shows, as they'll soon become the largest minority in America. But then I don't think I've actually ever sat through an entire reality dating show.
Is it wrong that it took me several long moments to figure out what word you were appologizing for?