allegro

Tonight is spent like most of my social nights of late. I'm sitting in my man's best friend's pad, probably about to smoke a ton of weed, drinking a beer and watching random TV. Usually we're at least social with each other, but tonight my gentleman Johnny is playing the new Professor Layton game (which I won but need to beat ten more puzzles in), our pal Tim is playing mroe and more Cit of Heros (villian, thank you very much), so I'm borrowinf my man's new netbook and sharing this portion of my evening with y'all. Hey there.

Since I've last been here, I've lost most of my my calm and contentedness due to losing my health insurance and not finding another job before the new season at the children's theatre starts. I stress intermittently over the weight I've gained (more the inches than the pounds), even if I do like the extra junk in the trunk and little plus to the boobs. I'll share when I have time to myself to take shots. Like that ever happens.

Life is alright. My nights are spent watching cooking, cleaning, and watching TV with my man, catching up with old friends (after so many years), and spending time with my man and Tim.

Tim has turned into a pretty good friend of mine. He's an encourageable flirt (one currently getting divorced, which we're helping him through however he needs. I wish I would flirt more. Not that I want to sleep with him, I don't. I wouldn't do that to my man, and neither would Tim. Moreover, I really don't want Tim. I love him to death, but not like that. Sure, he's cute and charming, but he sings with my in the car so I need to hold onto him as a friend FOREVER. I'm not ruining that for anything.
It would be fun though. Tim and I are both championship flirts, and he'd be super good for my ego. I can't trust that I'd know how to stop though. I've followed through with people I didn't want before, just because the opportunity was present and I've never liked myself after. So I do my best to behave. Mostly.


With any luck, I'll have some artistic adventure to share with you soon. If not, I should create one. Thing is, I can't start to write a song or a story or a poem without knowing that the time making it is time I need to be spending finding jobs, rewriting my resume, writing new cover letters, researching more healthcare options (none of which I've been able to afford to far), or doing other things necessary to change where I am and what I'm doing. I'm unhappy in this hole. My shovel doesn't get me very far.

I've missed you!